Mr Edwards' Opus

Huzzah!

With a need to bury myself in an activity today, i pitted my wits against a song i've been trying to complete for months. I changed my focus from the rythm section (my forte i suppose) to the melody and by golly i think i've cracked it. There is one specific detail missing; the string sound i need doesnt come in any octave lower than F5. It wont be the song it wants to be until then. boobies!

World Wide Suicide

I was asked last week wether i wanted to go see guns n' roses in Dublin in June. After much deliberation, i decided why not. It'll be first big gig (would've been the only but read on) of the year and i'll also get to fly in an aeroplane for the first time ever.

i were looking at all the recent guns n' roses news on the net, in light of my upcoming excursion to the emerald isle, wondering why exactly GnR have suddenly decided to resurface (not with the original line up. that'd be bonkers). I was gripped suddenly by memeories of seing GnR 4 years ago at the leeds festival. This and sheer curiosity sent me to google so that i might trawl the internet for any news on the line up for this leeds carling weekend. Now, what was posted as rumour on one website had me scouring further. To my surprise, my childlike, first present on christmas day, brand new puppy surprise, i can tell the world this:

PEARL JAM ARE TOURING THE WORLD THIS YEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And leeds bound they seem to be

I am officially the most exited man ever................

"If you put your mind to it, you can accomplish anything"

I have recieved objective and unsolcited praise for my music. Makes a change from asking my friends to be nice about me.

I did think about not telling you all what was said, but my ego has already spilled over onto the net by the meer presence of this blog.

I was told that i sounded original by one of my new fans and they said they liked, of all things, my singing voice.

Tell strangers about me....

Hit parade...

I have posted one of my new songs on myspace.com. Just clickify the linkage in the side bar that sez 'my music'. Enjoy

Tossed salads and scrambled eggs...

I missed out on 3 shifts at work this work. My body, as it invariably does, backfired on me again. This time it has lovingly furnished me with monstrous toothache and trapped wind. The former making me unable to concentrate on nothing but the pain meant i would have been useless on the phone. 4day weekend for me. Thanks body....

I decided that i should show my face at my brother's house warming party. Largely to make a point; he had'nt invited me. It was fun to a degree, but in hindsight, i reckong im going to avoid any social events involving my brother and his friends in the future.

First of all there was little scrawny fella who could not and would not obey Spliff ettiquette. this fact was highlighted by the fact that i was the only person there with weed and not resin. as i was skinning up, he was on at me to get it finished (called me "amateur" because i was'nt going as fast as he liked), then when i sparked up, he waited until it got to him and then, with a fair amount of the joint to go, disappeared into the kitchen to finish it all to himself. When it comes to recreational drugs, i like to share the wealth. But not when it comes to cheeky twats like him.

Secondly, and this was the one that had me the most peeved, i had one of brothers friend go off an unnecessary and wrong may i add, tyranical rant. I had two points to make to this fella:

• I work in market research BUT
• i do not represent market research and what he doesnt like about

Now (and any one of my closest friends can back me up on this) i can talk at an alarming speed people, often dont get what i say and have to ask me to repeat myself. This is exacerbated by drug and alcohol intake. So, with a couple of points to press and an already intoxicating amount of alcohol counsumed, my brothers friend took this as something else completely and went off on his rant. he said i always come across as a cunt, i was talking to fast so as to confuse him on purpose. he then started to tell me how he'd "been there" (in a tone that was suggesting that i had'nt and know nothing). He said i always try to analyse things and make myself look cleverer.

This was'nt the case. I was just talking too fast. but i am going to analyse it now. given that he went off on one because he miunderstood my intentions conversationally speaking, everything he accused me of not being and not understanding was clearly one big projection of a lot of his own insecurities. Only one other person has been this wrong about me in the past and i dont talk to her anymore....

I've been typing this with ease because i got a new keyboard and dont have to destroy the space bar every time a space is required...

Theres a fit deaf woman in it as well...

i watched a very engrossing and thought provoking film the other night. Its called What the #$*! do we know .

I would judge it as a think piece but the subjects covered are way too deep and academic for me to give my full opinion of the films content.

Hunt it down or ask me and i'll lend it to you....

Innovations in coke...

My saccharin tasting diabetic prayers have been answered once again.

A while back i expressed my joy at discovering that the sugar free version of Dr Pepper was now available in 5ooml bottles. The cans were hard to find and i could'nt rely on the 2 litre bottles (available in abundance) for drinking Dr Pepper on the go. suffice to say, i got my wish.

This left me with one final wish...

I had longed for sometime to appreciate the diet version of cherry coke. unlike Dr Pepper, it was'nt available in any format in this country (the US have had it since 1985). I was mildly appeased when diet coke and lemon was launched, as with the vanilla and lime versions respectively. Now things have changed.

To sum up, Diet Coke with Cherry (it's called Diet Cherry Coke in the US. why not here?) has been launched but other flavours have had to be sacrificed. You can find out why here and here. Happy Cherry flavoured moments to you all......

I Heart the Internet....

Modern technology and a need recognition have ended in me putting up some of my songs on the myspace site. Go, listen.

I come from down your way...

i checked my back catalogue today. i have a whopping SEVEN songs, one is collaborative so six and a bit really. This before i add up all the stuff i've done with Dan. The world is ready for me i reckon. just need to learn how to use a HTML editor (i'll be buggered if im learning the language)

A Fluffy and Light Holy Grail...

I've been forever wondering what the entirety of the lyrics were for an 80's milkyway ad campaign. Lucky for me, my curiosity regarding this subject popped up while i was downsurfing the interweb. So using the magic of modems and information pixies, i found what i've been looking for all these years:

MILKY WAY (RED CAR AND BLUE CAR)

The Red Car and the Blue Car had a race
All Red wants to do is stuff his face
He eats everything he sees
From trucks to prickly trees
But smart old Blue he chose the Milky Way

He's looking for a tasty treat, fluffy and light
'Cos he knows it won't spoil his appetite

Oh no, the bridge has gone
Old Red can't carry on
But smart old Blue he chose the Milky Way

Fight You...

Eddie is a Giant Robot that has a Metal Jaw, carries a Ray Gun, swats Aeroplanes like Flies, and can Phase in and out of Existence. Strength: 9 Agility: 8 Intelligence: 7 To see if your Giant Battle Monster can defeat Eddie, enter your name and choose an attack: fights Eddie using StrengthAgilityIntelligence

Ten Top Trivia Tips about Eddie!

Like Wrestlemania, but magic....

This is Funny

All my friends are STILL wrong about James Blunt...

Christmas happened again. Here's the run down...

Christmas eve usually involves getting drunk with my pa and bro. Nothing changed. Despite my best efforts to avoid daytime drinking i arrived home at tea time with a merry head.

That night i spent in Lamp with various factions of friends from throughout my life.

Christmas Day - Im betting it was not too disimilar to everyone else's so theres no need to describe it. Got a superman DVD that i were'nt expecting....

I've spent most of this week at Claire's looking after her cat. it's been handy living near loads of my friends these past few days. Paul came down to visit and has been staying at Simon's, which means he's only been round the corner for him to come visit me.

As i had to spend the week at Claire's, she kindly fed me to. She did a shop at Lidl. By 'eck those Italians and Germans dont half know what taste is. Mmmmmmmmmm........

Tonight Matthew...2

My cyborg friend 4n-dy pointed me in the direction of this here website. My face, so this site tells me, bears a resembelnce (highest ranked first) to these celebs. Some i dont know, one killed Martin Luther king:

Andriy Shevchenko (53%)
Carl Sagan (51%)
Barack Obama (49%)
Walter Nernst (45%)
D. H. Lawrence (41%)
Anthony Keidis (40%)
David Beckham (40%)
James Earl Ray (40%)
Arnold Schwarzenegger (39%)
Jack Brabham (38%)

Could anybody shine a light on the nature of some of these famous types?

I was the one who let you know, i was just sorry ever after...

Here i am, drunk on a bottle of red wine and situated at my keyboard. I've ranted stoned before but never drunk. forgive me if it takes a turn for the maudlin...

Fucking Christmas. I went shopping for presents today and it was most tiring. Remarkably, i got most of it finished, but it did take its toll physically. I arrived home, nodded off and awoke with minutes to spare before i had to leave for work.

I met up with mireille for a drink on monday. She still manages to attain a level of lovliness that can never be questioned. She has a wit that would level any man who would take time out to listen to her, a smile that would bring down walls and a presence that would never offend. It's a shame i can never pay her these compliments...

I opened one of my presents early. I should'nt have but its shape intrigued me. Paul got me an original Back to the Future film cell. Time travel and my favourite film all in one. I am full of glee...

how very civilised...

I had my first of (im hoping) many xmas meals this month.

I went to sheffield to see rob this weekend. kindly given a lift there by louise.

It was very grown up debauchery. After the main meal, along with the post nosh smoking, came the cheese and buscuits. We then proceeded to polish of 6 litres of wine.

A good weekend....

69

Its that bloody month again 'The end of year festival (TM)'. its a nice season but there's the buying and the eating and the drinking and the enforced socialising.

My Wishlist:

1. Big Sword
2. A time machine
3. Lots of comics

I've been good this year. I reckon i'll get what i want.

The Xmas experiment- a group of children, of varying ages below, lets say, 5. They're told well before they should be, that santa does'nt exist. ITV will film it and they can see how much they enjoy christmas compared to the control group, kid's who are well oblivious to santa's non-existence. Like a 'house of tiny tearaways' christmas special.....

If you need me, i'll be in space....

On checking on my MP3 library, a happened upon the little display in Media Player that tells me how long in time the folder. im clocking in 31 hours, 1 minute and 7 seconds. I never had that long a playlist on paul's computer.

Whats better is that playing them randomly never gets disappointing, cos i put them all there.

Got my DivX DVD player this week. saving entire seasons on 2 discs at most is way going to save on media. I've been watching Monkey Dust loads on it this week. I think ivan dobsky is a genius character. One major reason i suppose, is that he's got a geordie accent. Its my most favourite comedy accent to respond to stuff in.

I've also been watching 'Carnivale'. its one of story arcs you got to really stick to to get anything out of it. but im perservering. Its got the bacwards talking dwarf from twin peaks in it...

Tonight Matthew...

Freakin' ass face transplants

Its all new and fiddly now but think about when its as easy as taking an asprin. Or celebrities with messiah complexes cloning their own faces for their fans to adorn. Like the Come to daddy video but with tweenage boyband fans.....

You're the best, all round...

George Best. He died. Thats said when that happens. Its even sadder when someone's death is over shadowed by another, like when Kurt Cobain pegged it the same day as Bill Hicks.

RIP Pat Morita

Miaow

I dont know if i like this...

Your results:
You are Catwoman

Catwoman 75% Spider-Man 70% Green Lantern 70% Superman 60% The Flash 60% Iron Man 50% Supergirl 43% Hulk 40% Wonder Woman 38% Robin 38% Batman 25%

You have had a tough childhood, you know how to be a thief and exploit others but you stand up for society's cast-offs.

Click here to take the "Which Superhero are you?" quiz...

Mines "Pchown", Whats yours?

What happenned last night:

i shot Rich with my gun. He retaliated my developing a bigger weapon to attack me with. My attempt to construct and power up my force field belt failed and in the end i had to call for back up from my cyborg mate 4n-dy.

true. all of it.

What happenned today: made a new friend and started on the first steps to making my future happen. made another new friend at work....

a good day.

John Williams would have summat to say....

Saw The teaser trailer for Superman Returns

Go watch it...

Watched Threshold. Its got a wee man in it. And The Robot from Star Trek. I reckon I'll follow see whats going on....

Awesom-O 4000

I've always wanted to see myself as a south park citizen. i reckon i've captured myself well.
If you want to go try it yourself, go here
I've even accomodated for the tell tale gruft often found lingering around my headular area.

Anyway...

Ive been twatting about far to long trying sort out various video files i've recently downloaded. It's not the piece of cake i once believed it to be.

I tried to get me a copy of Flightplan. Downloaded ok (and at super speed as well) but it came telling me it was an AVI file, a run of the mill format. No media player i had would play it and no codec i had would deal with it. suffice to say, to the trash can it went.

I also got me a copy of Secret of the Sword. I spent most of sunday watching He-Man and She-Ra duke it out with skeletor and Hordak. To this day i still get all goose pimply when Prince Adam makes his transformation to He-Man. I often have the He-Man theme tune on myMP3 player. It's a rousing piece. really sets you up for the day......

I Vant to suck your blood...

This here is the character im currently playing with inVampire: The Masquerade. So far this character has been a bit hit and miss.

This charasmatic coterie leader did successfully collaborate with his Malkavian colleague. We tricked a security guard into thinking David Letterman had been viciously attcked outside a factory we needed to infiltrate.

I managed to blood bond one of my coterie to me. im so ridiculously conniving.

Right now he's in the past somewhere. who knows what crazy shenanigans will occur....

No Super powers as of yet....

I payed a visit to the hospital today for my MRI scan today.

After seeing a consultant a couple of months back, the x-rays revealed that my bones are'nt fitting into their sockets correctly (more square than round). So they sent me to get an altogether more industrial sized scan.

My Skeleton. Yesterday.


I was dressed for the occasion, tracksuit bottoms and a t-shirt, all items with no metal bits so as not to mess up the procedure.

After lying down on the bed, they put my feet together then selotaped them to keep them together.

The machine makes a god awful noise. like a highly localised construction site (what i imagine the doozers would make). to combat this, they place headphones on you, piping through easy listening jazz tracks to relax to while your body is bombarded with magnetic fields.

It were'nt half uncomfortable by the end, all that staying still i had to do. I hope from this that the cause of my pain is truly established. putting on my socks is murder....

Tis the season....

I am pooped. i spent 3 hours on a train last night. slept in a reclining chair with a very bad case of cramp and spent another three hours on a train today. I went to Nottinghamand back for the third party in as many weekends. i did take photos this time.

It were bloody fun. Tracy (Daves missus) had some of her old uni friends up from london for the party. All have MSc's in astro-physics. All bloody nice people. Dave's band mates were there also. The whole deal was kind of a belated house warming party, offset by the vivid cacophony that was bonfire night...

Look out for the louis theroux looky likey. He even carried himself like louis theroux. I called him louis all night.

I also took a picture of the wrong coloured house on daves street. it plain old dont look right.

I've had a proper good time over the last 3 weekends. i've pretty much seen all of my friends at one function or another. Im full up on soul food...

Bad Press....

We all hate cold calling. It gets on everyones tits, especially in down time.

But ...

i have developed a fascination with how frustratingly mixed up people get about market research. There are some issues that need addressing:

• We DO NOT have a database of anykind with information on anybody. If a survey does carry a name we ask for, its because that person is a customer of the company we're doing the survey for (respondants are way more receptive in this case)
• When you get the response "i work nights, you woke me up" its always quite harsh. thing is if it were one of their mates ringing up, they would know already that their friend works nights so knows not to bother. but they would'nt get it in the neck. Same goes "your phone call woke my child"
• we are asked (and quite condescendingly) why we're not in a line of work that provides more convenient hours. This one does'nt apply to me as such, im just a lazy ass mo' fo' (with a dream, mind). I know that theres a lady working were i do because she is single handedly funding her son through university. This job is easy money for someone who really does need it. the public shouldnt judge.

Im not saying that we should all take up thechallenge if we get a market research call. there are times when ANY phone call is inconvenient. i just think alot of misconceptions should e cast aside.

Next on my Market research agenda is the suggestion that our UNIX based surveys take on the form of text adventures. product placement with thrilling gameplay. thatwould certainly draw in the info that the big businesses need. And you get to fight a dragon at the end.....

duh duh duh, dunnuh duh.....

had more over the weekend. Another party. Fancy dress for halloween

it was a party. people did party things. its running was nowt extraordinary, so i'll give you my personal highlights.

• Me dressed as Mr.T
• Simon dressed as bender from futurama
• being pseudo- bummed by one of the hosts chums
• seeing paul again after four months
• Pitying fools
• seeing Louise, she's a canny lass
• the vicar with the small child sucking on his phallus

I was ratted on Vodka. i have'nt been drunk on spirits in a long while and i was displaying some harsh behaviour (my petty jealousy heightened by booze). I also had the effect of events coming back to me later the following day, and tha rarely happens as well.

All in all a fantastic peice of partery-hostery. No pics cos my parents thought it fair to pinch my camera and take it to newcastle....

Andrew WK would have been proud....

My night at friends house on saturday night was a spiffing affair.

Firstly, it was a welcome change to be partying of a saturday night as opposed to channel surfing through nowt.

After that, my bones were full o fun. Played Air Hockey (lost every game), mingled those i have'nt mingled with for a while and took fill of company i do often crave. loads fun. Word

I done this test to:

A Childhood Friend Your score was 33 in Unbelievability!

You are your author's childhood friend, and a good example of a fun character for fiction writers everywhere.. You're a pretty neat person- but still very real. You are a person of few extremes, but you have your moments of glory. When you're at your best, people can be wowed by you- but you're not always at your best. And that's OK. You're only human. A novel with you as a character would sell quite well. It might not make the New York Times' bestseller list, but then again, it might. Who knows? Most people would certainly buy a book with you as a character in it. Well, they might wait for it be available in paperback- but they'd buy it eventually.

My test tracked 1 variable How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 4% on Implausibility

Link: The Are You a Plausible Character? Test written by coldrose on Ok Cupid, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

They did'nt say they'd be their in half an hour....

Hello.

the state im, in i reckon i'll just let the ideas fall out of my fingertips.

i had a good night with football tonight.

When theirs 5 of us (one of the gang was missing tonight), we always have 3 Vs 2. I was on the 2 team with Stu. he's a relatively sharp player. can achieve possession but can have trouble at the side of the box. stu and i are'nt considered a great team up.

turns out we won. it was only 1-0. but we clung to that lead quite devilishly. and it was my goal. that went in. direct from my corner kick. Where my name is usually mud, i had avhieved an avoidance level at which they initiated a best out of three and won.

My parents are away this week. so anybody reading this should come and visit me. cos non of you do....

Falling Stars...

i am now the proud owner of an internet connection. i can spread my electronic wins and explore the depths of......well, everything ever i suppose. the internet is a big place.

I quit my job at comet. it was done with very little drama. i just did'nt bother turning up one day.

"what will you do to fund your new found internet connection" i hear you ask. well just you quiet down at the front. I managed to secure employment with a market research company. Ok, so im sat at a computer adorning a headset agian, but its 3 and a half hours a day and the buying public are'nt demanding everything and now off me.

lets see shall we

Please leave a one-word comment that you think best describes me.

It can only be one word.

No more.

i'll be sure to look down on you from time to time

Soooooooooooooooooooo much has occupied my existence since last i wrote anything here.

my music is coming along leaps and bounds. in conjunction with my computer being fixed (broken due to an error on my part) and andy introducing me to a plethora of new music software, i am approaching some thing that could be remotely considered "my sound". Some of this is being remixed and rejigged by another friend of mine. along with my collaborative work with dan, i seem to have what many would consider "side projects". ooooooh im so prolific. if music were nuclear weapons, id have the UN knocking on my door out of concern.

Back at my parents. this does nothing for my wellbeing other than providing impetus for the above.

i've rediscovered reading.

discovered the TV show lost (its mega)

went to nottingham to see dave again. bless him. he dont half miss me. went to the castle with him this time round. it had swords and guns and a plaque telling me that i was currently 241.32 feet above see level in hull.......

The End (2)

Now i reckon im quite clued up as far as season finale's go. After Buffy, Angel et al i have a keen eye for a finish.

Dr Who' s finale was end-tastic. i was not disappointed. dont think i have been yet with this series. The idea of a Dalek emperor did'nt really take with me though. i wanted Davros.

Do or do not. there is no try

Jobless. lonely and managing my diabetes. all the rubbish stuff

Everything that is'nt happening for me is'nt happenning because im not making it happen. I cant fairly blame anybody. I'd like to, but it's nobody's fault but my own.

yeah im feeling bad and i dont have any right to shove this in my audience's face but at least here my 'rut' is actively acknowledged and i can use it as a stepping stone to actually doing something about it. Dunno what. Too much packing to do to be thinking about that.

Rain rain go away

We tried. it did'nt turn out like we wanted but it happened.

i am of course refering to the attenpted picnic in pearson park today. Fun was had, that much is certain. i have'nt frisbee'd so much in a long, long while or kicked a football (im still a complete spastic with one).

i served up some rather nice strawberry ice tea (never have i been so thankful for baking soda), Andy supported the defence against thirst by supplying a real brew and some yummy rock cakes.

picnikery aside. events have occured. My favourite couple are having problems. Smallville left me on a huge cliffhanger. thankfully WB's autumn schedule means that i can see it this year. i dont have to wait until january. The Dr Who finale is next week. its got Daleks in it and the return of an old enemy. it's likely to be Davros but the Master is a possibility also.

I nabbed the Xbox. Could'nt get hold of KOTOR but i have been playing Halo 2. it's fucking awesome. go play it loads

I found out this week that a friend is moving home up north at the end of this month. more on that nearer the end of the month as it is also the time i leave 39 May street and part ways with my housemates. Although one has parted ways already, we have'nt yet reached zero hour.

An idea waiting to happen

My head hurts because i've been thinking to far ahead. i've been sat for the last hour trying to assess how my future is going to be mapped out. Staring endlessly at a monitor coupled with juggling careers that are very much in the hypothetical, has dulled my brain.

Y'see after a lot of reading and wathcing of the telly, i have started looking into idea of working with Autistic Kids. Im still aiming at the health and social care area, just from a different angle. m still looking into the counselling. it would seem that hull college have relaxed there hours since the ones i was quoted 2 years ago. things are looking feasable for little old me

I notice that the frog has maintained its number one slot for a second week. i believe i asked you all to something about it a couple of entries ago. he's still around. Why have you done nothing?

i read 'Jonothan livingston Seagull' today. its a very nice book. an uplifting affair that be taken at face value or taken on board and aspired to. im not going to say why. i reckon y'all should give it a read if you have'nt already.

John Barrowman in Dr Who. i've always found the man a little too cheesy. his presence makes me a bit uncomfortable. More Daleks next week though. Yay

I have to look after a cat for the next week or so. feeding, cleaning and general attention giving are on high on the agenda. i get xbox, food and drink privelidges from it though. im gonna be a jedi..........

Ich habe Blau Augen....

Ok, i could be getting carried away with this, but this one tells me what colour i am. i like knowing what colour i am.

Your Aura is Blue Your Personality: Your natural warmth and intuition nurtures those around you. You are accepting and always follow your heart. You in Love: Relationships are your top priority, and this includes love. You are most happy when you are serious with someone. Your Career: You need to help others in your job to feel satistifed. You would be a great nurse, psychologist, or counselor. What Color Is Your Aura? Take This Quiz :-) Find the Love of Your Life (and More Love Quizzes) at Your New Romance.

star wars/mashed rant

Episode 3. loved it. it was mega.

watching new hope tonight. Revenge of the sith has added enough to the saga to make you wanna finish it. i am appeased not only cinematically but also narratively (that a word?)

Im a bit cained as i perform this awkward keyboard ballet. keys. Everywhere.

im listening to Clawfinger. they're this band from somewhere scandinavian (or somewhere else in that area). they're sounding quite cool right now.

That frog. you all know which one i mean. anybody with an ounce of musical talent and they're fans therein really should stand up against this. action is needed.

it has occured to me recently that my head needs a challenge. not stimulating myself enough mentally.............

Abi Titmuss. it sounds like a seasonal greeting, for a rather rude holiday, delivered by somebody with a cold.

what others see....

While busy blog surfing i found a test that took my interest. here's what it said

Starving Artist You are 28% Rational, 14% Extroverted, 14% Brutal, and 57% Arrogant.

You are the Starving Artist! You are more intuitive than logical, and are primarily guided by your heart and emotions. You are also very introverted and gentle. Of course, this does not mean that you do not have an ego. In fact, you are surprisingly arrogant for someone so emotional and gentle. This is why you are best described as a starving artist. You are very introspective and quite sure of yourself, as any accomplished artist is, yet your views are impractical, guided by feelings, and overly gentle. You probably find math, logic, and similar intellectual pursuits offensive to your artistic sensibilities, and you prefer the open-endedness of artistry because then you know you can never truly have a wrong answer. So really you have no reason to be arrogant, you big doofus, because the skills you value (emotion, spirit, art, etc.) in yourself are valuable only on a subjective level, meaning your arrogance is purely masturbatory. In short, your personality is defective because you are arrogant, introverted, introspective, gentle, and thoroughly irrational...posessing most of the traits needed to be a starving--and useless--artist. So get out there, write a few short stories that are allegories for the spirit, and starve! To put it less negatively: 1. You are more INTUITIVE than rational. 2. You are more INTROVERTED than extroverted. 3. You are more GENTLE than brutal. 4. You are more ARROGANT than humble. Compatibility: Your exact opposite is the Capitalist Pig. Other personalities you would probably get along with are the Haughty Intellectual, the Televangelist, and the Emo Kid. * * If you scored near fifty percent for a certain trait (42%-58%), you could very well go either way. For example, someone with 42% Extroversion is slightly leaning towards being an introvert, but is close enough to being an extrovert to be classified that way as well. Below is a list of the other personality types so that you can determine which other possible categories you may fill if you scored near fifty percent for certain traits. The other personality types: The Emo Kid: Intuitive, Introverted, Gentle, Humble. The Starving Artist: Intuitive, Introverted, Gentle, Arrogant. The Bitch-Slap: Intuitive, Introverted, Brutal, Humble. The Brute: Intuitive, Introverted, Brutal, Arrogant. The Hippie: Intuitive, Extroverted, Gentle, Humble. The Televangelist: Intuitive, Extroverted, Gentle, Arrogant. The Schoolyard Bully: Intuitive, Extroverted, Brutal, Humble. The Class Clown: Intuitive, Extroverted, Brutal, Arrogant. The Robot: Rational, Introverted, Gentle, Humble. The Haughty Intellectual: Rational, Introverted, Gentle, Arrogant. The Spiteful Loner: Rational, Introverted, Brutal, Humble. The Sociopath: Rational, Introverted, Brutal, Arrogant. The Hand-Raiser: Rational, Extroverted, Gentle, Humble. The Braggart: Rational, Extroverted, Gentle, Arrogant. The Capitalist Pig: Rational, Extroverted, Brutal, Humble. The Smartass: Rational, Extroverted, Brutal, Arrogant.

My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 10% on Rationality You scored higher than 11% on Extroversion You scored higher than 6% on Brutality You scored higher than 64% on Arrogance

Link: The Personality Defect Test written by saint_gasoline on Ok Cupid

Cripple Calamity

Some say this to my artistic detrement. i say bollocks to them!

Im refering to my quest for leonard Nimoy's and William Shatner's musical back catalogue. I have less Spock than Kirk but i think Spock is the winner so far. he's got that whole jangly 60's feel to his songs (he does take the edge away from 'lord of the rings' with his song 'ballad of bilbo baggins). Kirk just talks over music. It works really well with his collaoration with Henry Rollins though. Right now im listening to Senor Coconut. check it out

I had horrible turn outside spiders last night. after (im told) a tussle with Paul. I fell to the ground. i couldnt get back up. the pain that my legs have been suffering for a while now kicked in. i had to shout for friends to help me up. I've never felt so feeble. it scares me that my own body is once again turning against me.

because of this i smoked lots. i am a weak man......

Hulk Smash

My arms, without a shadow of a doubt, are getting bigger.

I started going to the gym in february. Four months down the line im seeing definition. if i were a comic book character, they'd be shading more parts of my arm. even some t-shirts are getting that little bit tighter around the arm. im glad they dont look like mr tickles arms any more.

My personal vendetta against the coca-cola company has been laid to rest.

I once made a number of phone calls to the company asking why diet Dr Pepper did not come in 500ml bottles. they expalined to me there was no demand for it. that opinion (or fact?) appears to have changed as Dr Pepper z has appeared. its part of a whole range of products with the z monniker. Is 'Diet' or 'light' not acceptable anymore?

hooked on a feeling....

seems im the only one out, of all those i have spoken to about last weeks Dr Who, that liked the direction it went in. i feel quite lonely. like that dalek. any attractive time travellers wanna touch me?

went to a marvelous party

paul dragged me into his world this weekend. i got to hang with his friends at a party he took me to.

i survived quite well. i never reckon on being sociable at parties where i know nobody. i ruined that idea and actually survived the evening without paul carrying me socially.

after being kicked out at four in the morning, paul and i bimbled back to ours with guests in tow and got a bit stoned.

Preceeding the party, we watched Dr Who. It was awsome. i've never really felt for a Dalek before. And having that plunger thing actually do stuff, corking!

sigh of relief...

i dont like it when i have to go on an impromptu introspective journey.

i end up questioning that which doesnt need it, i get mad at myself cos i know i dont need it.I then more infuriated cos the end result is that i get back to square one, where i am most comforatable and sure about myself. the whole process was'nt needed at all.

any way thats where last week took me on a mental plain. this week has so far brought me mucho adulation.

Dan and i performed at musicians night at the adelphi. this was our second go in two weeks, this time performing our synth pop set. As well as making my friends smile i recieved praise of 3 or 4 people i dont know at all. i reckon a rock and roll trip is a long time coming and well deserved. its nice when complete strangers tell you how good you are at something.

In all fairness Dan was the visionary AND the nuts and bolts behind last nights gig. i like the praise but it does always come in my direction.

idiots are never unhappy

so gadget shop came to an untimely end, ensuring in turn that i have no job to go now. Things like employment seem to crumble away wickedly in my hands.

i spent most of friday inebriated. Its the British way, news of any calibre is celebrated by getting drunk.

after playing a few games of pool, i parted company with a number of workmates. temporarily or permanent? who can say? i've got mobile numbers, but i may not use a lot of them.

i know for a fact i'll be using Lee's number. im trying out for his band this week. the opportunity to do my "thang" on stage again is to good to miss.

It's beenthe good life weekend on UKTV Gold. The good life is 30 years old this year. I like the good life. Like dads army, whenever it appears as a repeat run, there is always one i have'nt seen.

It's the women in the good life that i like to turn to. i feel that although Margot's boobs get me hot under the collar, it's Barbara Good i want to make babies with. A slight figure, a pretty face and an often scathing wit. put me down for two.

now i've got a limited amount of time off (i dont intend to be unemployed for long) im going to get down to recording some songs (my computer is almost ready), doing some more writing and getting caught up on some telly.

I think im going to use Alex Ross as wallpaper with my new machine. i find him to be an excellent artist.

The Ed power generator

A brilliant name for a funk band, dontcha think?

got it from star wars monopoly, which i played last friday on my visit to Nottingham to see dave.

Friday was just stupid. having changed my work hours to 9-2, i had time in the afternoon to get some shit out of the way that i'd been trying to do all week. the first two tasks were easy, send a parcel and pick up my photos. The only hard part of the next task was the long walk to national avenue to pick up a parcel. i was informed that i couldnt get it for another 48 hours when i got there. i could have got an earlier train to nottingham and started my break ooner.

the journey to nottingham had me a bit on edge. i had to make a change in sheffield. i've only ever done direct routes before and i was sooooo scared i'd miss the train and have to get the stupidly late one. i asked for info at the kiosk twice. i must have looked a right divvy.

Got to nottingham, dave and tracy prepared tea for me. after letting it settle we played monopoly. As well as dave, Danny played. Danny is from Zimbabwe and he's a top bloke. he provided drunk entertainment the night after. Danny trounced us both at monopoly.

Went shopping in nottingham on saturday. Is'nt it amazing how much money you'll spend on yourself just because you're somewhere different. i spent £20 on comics, bought Tommy on DVD and treated myself to god knows how many sundries.

one added bonus (and one huge coincedence) happenned while shopping in Fopp. there i was pondering over buying the looney tunes DVD. i looked over my left shoulder and there stood Rob browsing the Hip Hop section. he was in nottingham visiting his sister. he certainly was surprised to bump into me.

We drank staurday night, most of this being compiled in the photo album. Dave being his usual drunk and exuberant self caused danny much pain by giving him an almighty wedgie. to add insult to injury, dannt's pants came away in daves hands.

Sunday was a sedate day. read a book, watched telly, took pictures of dragons and had dinner at a pub by the canal. After dinner i got on the train to make my journey home.

All in all a lovely weekend. next time i see dave should (hopefully) be when he brings his band to Hull for a gig. i shall keep y'all posted.

i dont believe it

im officially an intefering busy body.

i wrote me a stroppy e-mail to the Hull Daily Mail and it was printed in today's edition (06/04/05).

i reckon i do quite well as bastion for the common man

long time coming

im, like, mega stoned right now.

i aint had no stoned rant on my journal yet. thought i might givemit a go.

mark. i get he's sorry. he dont have to say it. he's my best friend

paul n karl.they were drunk. it werent that bad.

im old.

ok , relatively speaking im old. dont mean im not thinking about stuff around my birthday.

there is lots have stuff i've not got out of the way yet.

i've not had anybody look at me like i loads matter for a while. the war zone that is love has escaped for more than a while now.

ultimately i get in the way of myself, but in my defence, im bloody well working at it. some see it. some dont.

im sick of moving about. i wanna be in a position to be buying my home in two years time.

before i get to the positive stuff, i want to give a shout out to my parents. in all my life EVERY big decision i've had to make about my future, they have let take and follow through and learn it all myself. they have been thoroughly supportive with it. that is why i love them dearly.

i was onced told that it was statistically, after 22 i would not make any new friends (or summat like that)

i want to thank, in no particular order, Paul C, Paul F, Mireille, Katie, Sadie, Andy, Nicole and Ben, Steve and Stu for making that not true. for me anyway.

Im been thinking about the guys i live with. god they're difficult. but i am also. end of it all, love em. love em loads, its they who've made this the most interesting house i've lived in..

Dan. bless him. i know he doesnt like to take part in the world, but he's one guy i couldnt be without right now. i he hleps my creative side, and i need that lots. cheers dan.

vis and andy. have'nt seen a lot of those two in recent months. ok i have, but not loads as the lovable dysfunctional sitcom way that i remember most fondest.

i have one question to pose to those who i know will be reading this. i ask you leave the answer in the comments section.

do come across i as a cleverer than you type? i've been told i do. your input?

Sober after thought: Ask me about my idea for pac-man the movie some time.

speech

a couple of important events have happened.

firstly, Mark's birthday. He's never been one to celebrate his own birthday, that all requires effort.

Suffice to say, most of mark's birthday was spent at karls house. We watched stuff on telly and DVD, had a few cups of tea and a bit of a smoke. All in all quite a sedate celebration of Mark's 25th birthday.

Next up, my birthday. Festivities started on the sunday evening, when a large number of my friends were invited round for drinks. All those who mattered turned up (apart from some but i'll get to that nearer the end), everyone mingled quite nicely with eachother

i did get a bit worked up by the fact that Karl and Paul were displaying, in my opinion, stupid acts of male bravado. this was underpinned by two obnoxiuous drunks going by the name of Andy and James. Loud and surly are not nice ways to see your own birthday in. they all were mostly harmless but it was a bit unnerving

The day after was my actual birthday. A pleasant affair. i went for lunch with Viki at McCoy's after a few hours rest, i made my way to the lamp for drinks. I was joined by Paul, Mireille, Viki and Claire. NOT all of the important ones arrived. i smoked on my birthday, which was disappointing because i hadnt in weeks, but necessary because i was quite upset by someones actions. heres the deal.

I am very angry and upset at by best friend. i put in lots of actual physical effort to ensure i get to see him, at least once a week. He on the other hand will not make any at all. he will not get out of his house and make the effort to come and see me (he's been to my the house i live in now once in 9 months).
He did not turn up on my birthday. He hasnt done for the past four years. He chose to go to steve's, he said he could'nt make it. i didnt want to stop and listen to why he couldnt make it, i was to angry and if i'd have taken the conversation further, i'd have probably got upset or said something i might have regretted later. i dont believe that there was anything that made him physically incapable of coming to see me on my birthday.

In his defence he may have helped me out as far as money and other such favours in the past four or five years, but that does not mean you dont have to put the legwork and it does'nt make my frustration any less. i am furious with him for it and disappointed in him for it.

don't look back in anger...

...in fact dont look back at all. keep on moving. its better in the long run.

The issue of me walking away from from aggressive debate has been raised more than once in the last 3 days.

i feel it's better for me to walk away because:

• i dont like my demeanor in a heated state
• i dont want say or take any action i know i will regret later

"walking away" does manifest itself as putting the phone down abruptly. if that is seen to be childish, fine. if it did'nt go that way all the other party would get is angry abuse and it would be silly to want it to go that way.

Stopping and making amends is the most correct way to go about it, but in the moment my savage pride will not budge and those who i have issue with; i dont feel i have ever been seen by them to be sincere, competent, sensible, clever enough or a good person and dont believe they will believe me. i cannot honestly say thats the attitude they want or mean to promote but that is how they make me feel.

this can be seen as unconnected to my original point but this is how i have felt for a long while now. why not air it.

friends do struggle with me at times, i can make it difficult for people as much as the next man, but some have put time in to sort the wheat from the chaff eddie wise. i believe some have'nt.

Stuffed Monkey Rule!!!!

Last nights performance at the Adelphi went down rather well.

Dan and i performed 3 new songs. We got on relatively early so we were'nt all tied up about getting on stage. My peformance, i feel, was ok. others thought otherwise.

A lovely, lovely woman (who's name i regretably did not get) told me how she liked how we sounded and it was nice to hear music for the sake of music. and she liked the lyrics for the songs. which was nice.

A foreign guy also came up to me and commented on how we held a good steady rhythm. i was grinning lots when i left the adelphi.

That Deaf, Dumb and Blind Kid....

I watched Tommy last Thursday. It was absolutely awesome. In my life so far, i've considered Evita and Little shop of horrors to be great film musicals. Ok, Tommy is a rock opera but as films-with-music-in are concerned Tommy has wee wee'd all over them from a great height.

I dare say that The Who's musical input is what makes it. It made sense of why i liked pinball wizard so much, it clicked that it was Elton john (who rocked in his day) backed by the who. Quite a rockin' combo.

The film has left me with a couple of feelings i just cant shake off. i know im going to have to watch it again to exorcise these. I've told everyone in my house (at least the ones that are'nt annoying me right now) that we to watch it saturday night while high on my special biscuits.

went out with Mireille on Friday night. Mireille is a bit odd, i dont get her.

She quite clearly wanted to go out. i told her i was'nt planning on going out but maybe would if she could rally the troops. she then rang me so that i would ask her if she wanted to go out AND she already knew that others wouldnt be available to go out anyway.

Anyhoo, i dragged paul out (he smoked that night, im still winning at not smoking) to lamp to meet mireille. at about twelve mireille piped up "so, were not going to spiders then" in a "i want to go to spiders" kind of way. suffice to say we ended up in spiders, entirely on mireille's whim i feel.
Nobody can say no to her, its because she's too nice. The fact that she's too nice makes it impossible to tell her anything that might be considered real (for want of a better word).
i think she should be told that she is attractive, and intelligent and worth having around and it would be nice to get annoyed at her but cant. Ultimately, i just dont know how much of people and the world she understands. Thats why i dont get her, yet at the same time it makes her so intirguing. A puzzle i'd like to solve.

before i leave i'd like to mention the fact that the Gadget Shop has gone into Administration. We're all a bit worried around these parts, especially regarding our jobs. i think abandoning this sinking ship is the only way....

Monk On...

Andy beat me, like, a million - 0.

not a good day for football

Plates of Magic....

My my my, what an interesting few days. For me anyway. Just carry on reading and you might agree.

First of all there was the fun bit.

Andy's birthday happened (03/03/05). The night went swimmingly as far as I'm concerned.

We met in dirty nelly's, the quaint oirish pub in the old town. Faces of note were Matty Brown (with Ted and Lee in tow) Mireille (she's gonna get her own journal entry), James (get to see him intermittently) Kim & Ian, and Andy's Uni friend Demitris. Along with the usual crowd, quite an joyous turn out in my opinion.

After the initial pint in dirty Nelly's, we upped sticks and ventured to hitchcocks, A rather impressive vegetarian restaurant also located in the old town. the buffet offered indian dishes the night we were in, although some members of our party wanted (and got) meditteranean food. I quite wisely avoided the Vindaloo and opted for more of the rice and potato based dishes. it were dead yummy.

As is tradition, Vic and I ate a chili each in honour of Andy's birthday. We were joined in this by Dimitris, who seemed to be the one most affected by the chili. The chili's seemed to be quite tame compared to previous years.

By the time dessert was ready to serve, i was fit ti burst. but i still managed a plate full of pecan pie and mint ice scream. Simon went back or more and regretted it.

back to nelly's for last orders. simon had a cigarrette, making me the winner of not smoking.

We ended the night in welly. I, among others, danced my tits off. even mireille had a bit of a boogie. twas a corking night.

Then we got home...........

In summary, Paul said something simon didnt agree with. Simon explained himself then set off to be bed.
Paul had a bit more of a whinge, simon asked paul if he could keep it down Paul said "something". Simon slammed the door, paul shouted at simon, simon came in taking quite an aggressive stance. Paul reciprocated. i stepped into the middle to make sure these two tits didnt get physical.

i dont wanna talk about it loads. it was an act of drunken idiocy in part and common or garden idiocy in others. fools, both of em.

After all that, i've done some of my special baking, got stoned and watched 'fear of a black hat' on saturday, as well as the end of 'Bill & Ted's bogus Journey'

Gav and rosie had a wee soiree on monday night for gav's birthday. we got lots stoned on my biscuits and watched team america. lots fun.

i got Andy coming round to mine tonight for some pro-evo action. i'll post the results soon.

i got 38 on the Dr Phil test.....

i spent some quality time with claire last night.

i spent time telling her what i really thought. it didnt come to blows, everything i expresed was taken and assessed in the adult manner i've come to expect of Claire.

Although i have managed to express what i thought i never could, i have to add that i've put too much thought into who she is as a person and how she goes about her business.

i still stand by what i said about not wanting to step in anymore. how she deals with stuff is entirely her own battle. this isnt a case of leaving her unaided, more that she is braver and stronger then she gives herself credit for. we dont NEED eachother and never have.

claire is only human and aint got anymore on her plate then then the next man. its because of how she affected some emotionally that there has been strong reaction to her actions.

im not sorry for what i've written about her in the past, its a clear reflection of how i felt at the time, but i think its only fair that this reassessment of my thoughts be aired.

im gonna rib her now and again for that whole cold shoulder affair, but she will not be permanantly chastised. Non of my friends deserve that.

change and other destructive forces...

Let it be made clear, i dont deal with change very well. Imagine my surprise when i turned up at my parents yesterday to discover an entire new room upstairs and my mum wearing glasses. the universe unravelled itself and only a huge cup of tea could save me.

More comic related action. Steve and i categorized his collection managed to list them all and then bag 'em. three hours we were at this. we listened to the entirety of the new feeder album, 'how tomake friends an influence people' by terrorvision and 'life on other planets' by supergrass while on this mission and they all fitted quite nicely into the night.

Thereason why my parents opted for a new room isthat they cashed in some policy they had. As well as paying for the loft conversion, they handed over £100 each to my brother and i. more money towards using real machinery and not hamsters on wheels for my computer.

what do you think of the new colour scheme?

Soiree (or Mark Edwards is a big fat shit)

I'll take this one chronolgical order.

Last Tuesday was real fun. i paid a visit to my friend steve's house. He presented me with two rather large boxes.

'ooooh!' thought i. i know steve well enough. i reckon i know whats in this box and it aint often that steve is all enthused about showing me a couple of big boxes.

'Huzzah!' my assumption was correct. Steve had brought home his comic collection in its entirety. I dived straight in and spent 2 and 1/2 hours browsing his collection. It did seem a bit rude that i was sat there pretty much in my own world, but i did uncover quite a few gems. The most valuable (so far) has been Preacher #1. worth £10.50 back in 98. need to do more research nd find the current prices. Steve and i are going to categorize and price up this collection. then we'll start on mine.

Might sound geeky to some, i care not, comics are a fantastic medium for storytelling. both narrative and art work can be weaved cleverly into eachother (depends on the a
artist/writer), and its not always spandex clad meta-humans struggling for truth , justice, freedom, yada yada yada.

that night was also amusing because of the fact i found some old work books from Year 10 at school. covered largely in school work, there were also quite a few amusing comments from my class mates. my favourite bing the one in the title of this entry.

works night out happened last thursday. it was quite odd at first, socialising with those i try quite hard to keep from permeating my real life. A few cocktails in bar ambika managed to get rid of that. it got interesting after that.
steve told louise he liked her sex wise, she did not reciprocate.
Louise was showing too much interest in my house mate paul for his comfort.
Michelle (the MILF) being loads plastered.
Paul shouting at liam (office gay) that he was gay, just to embarrass me.
Night club kicked us out, me and paul went home and took a pill. never again.

Saturday came. The day of Andy's Party. A rather lovely affair all in all.

Andy, Nicole and Ben, all playing host in their own unique manner, provided entertainment, food, drink and dancing all to a high level of fun.
i took paul with me, he seemed to behave himself quite well. My gang seem to have accepted him into the fold. he seemed to be showing some intrest in the ladeeez, not surprising. one of em was katie.

Karl and Tree made it to the party as well. i got video footage of Karl busting a few moves and tree made it a mission to neatly ravel up some string.

Sadie also made an appearance:-) We had fun. not necessarily harmless, the part were she had me in a strangle hold left me wondering. i'll just put it down to drunken exuberance.

i drank way too much wine and suffered the next day. I went and ate at Maccy D's. a rather lazy sunday, but a nice full stop to my week.

ho hum...

If im to be totally honest, im probably best off doing it here.

Its the Claire thing again.

i feel im making the effort with her right now, because i feel i have to. not because i carry any great sense of comrdre or unity with her, just because its gotta look like its mended after what she did to me for those 2 months.

Other than that, she has burnt her bridges.
dont get me wrong i do consider her a close friend and i do so adore here, but this friend is, quite frankly, odd.

She doesnt know what she wants, and in not knowing, she is (and has done a number of times) breaking hearts. its what she does best.

normally i could let this go, but it turns out that after asking if she was fine with the whole man situ, she in turn went to ask one of her potential suitors WHY i was asking. i was showing concern, nothing more. if she wants to question that very simple concept, i feel i should withdraw my voice from any proceedings. its like asking superman why he wants to save the world

What i know about this girl has always been more than she thinks i know (i've been best friends with two of her Ex-boyfriends). in this understanding, it is my opinion she has managed to put a lot of friends in the position where we could help her, but we dont want to and cant be arsed (all for differing reasons). she has put us in this position herself, she uses those who can help her and all the meaning is lost.
she freely admits that she uses other people, but im not sure she has assessed the long term affects of her actions Others say she has nobody that will say no to her. this is certainly true, to the point where nobody will say to her what i've just written. she needs a wake up call.

if she really does require any support from her friend, she knows where am but she's gotta face a whole bunch o demons before im going to want to help.

party time, excellent!

im left feeling quite drained both physically and mentally.

39 may street (ie my housemates and i) decided to throw a party last friday. lots of planning went in to this party as far as decor and music was concerned. we were anxious as to the calibre of guest that may arrive, as paul had invited some friends to come after the drum and bass night at the welly. our fears came to nothing and the whole thing ran quite smoothly.

the party was a good thing personally because of the presence of a lot of friends i dont see often, and all in the same place. instead of whinging like im known to do im gonna big up some of those i've neglected

Rich, bless him, he came to the party his friend simon, with the intention of staying briefly. Certain drugs were administered and that soon changed. he didnt have the best time but he asked me to stick by him, no way was i going to leave one of my best friends on a bad come up. despite that im glad he came and that he eventually got into a party mood.

Katie also came to the party. i so do adore that girl. she has always had time to listen to me, has always been nice to me and we've always had a laugh together. its not surpising half of my house mates have the hots for her. she is modest in her intelligence and looks. (she does bear a resembelence to elizabth mongomerty from bewithced) She's one of those rare lasses who has it all.

Sadie arrived. Sadie, is katie's older sister. i've mentioned her once before on this journal. Sadie is....well, Sadie is something else :-)

Andy Steele was at my party. i like andy. although on reading this he will qeustion its sincerity, it is nice to have andy around. ok he aint as much of a looker as the murphy girls :-P, but he certainly has a wit and intellect that is a welcome respite at the end of the working week.

To top all this Mark and Karl arrived. Mark my bezzie mate of years completed the circle started by the Murphy's and Andy. i love Mark. we should have decoder rings and gang membership cards. Karl works on the same wavelength as andy (clever, witty, picks on me)
and is just as much a brother to me as i feel mark to be.

5 big reasons why my party was ace, right there for you.

Claire came to the party and for the first time in a while, i didnt need from her the physical affirmation that is often sought when on pills. The party did end a bit sour for her. she has stuff to think about. im with you chief

i was disappointed that some quests resigned themselves to one room and didnt take in the party to its fullest.

those who did, however, probably feel like i do now. lots of varieties of drugs were available. to much for some but i'll get to that soon. suffice to say the party lasted til about 9:00 AM and all the drum and bass crowd had lots of fun.

Paul. He's a funny man. he took all the drugs that were available. My lord what a mess he was in the morning.

In his mind he was blacking out. only rob and i could see what his behaviour was like in his black outs. the googly eyes certainly made it all the more hilarious. the mans short term memory was completely fried. twas indeed a giggle.

saturday i slept thorugh. arose at about 5 PM. watched all of the rugby, which is rare for me. tried watching tomb raider but ende up heading for my room at 11PM. saturday just did not happen.

last night was the first nip/tuck night. from 8 til 1. we watched nothin but TV drama. this is par for the course for the next six months.

Alas, my camera packed up and therefore i could not gather photographic evidence of any of this. you'll just have to believe me.

TV is important once again....

huzzah. im as exited as Elmer fudd during Wabbit season. The good ship television has left its moorings and departed from harbour, set asail to bring us new adventures. thats right kids, Drama season has begun.

i shall bring you up to speed

Monday nights 9-10 is Smallville season 4
sunday nights 9-10 is
24 season 4, followed by
Nip/Tuckseason 2 (1o-11 in case you were wondering).

We thought we had it real good. Theeeeeen, E4 had the good grace to repeat smallville season 4 (mondays 10-9) on sundays 8-9. three solid hours of top quality entertainment in one sitting.

but its TV. The programmes and their relative scheduling is, all in all, a mundane topic, i hear you cry.

certainly, the contents of a tv guide vis-a-vie sunday evenings, is hardly inflammatory subject matter. but the idea that im going to be certainly spending three hours in the company of friends i adore is important to me. its not that i dont get to see these friends at all its just nice knowing "thats my gang, they, like television, will always be there for me"

call it soppy all you want. tut at the dependency on the goggle box. i like these times

Other news. I met pete for the first time in about 18 months. he's been travelling south america, ended up in miami with a lady but alas had to return home becuase his visa ran out.

Started watching Alias on DVD. it loads Rocks!

i started working part time this week. being in work lesss hours suits me to a tee. having less money will pinch a bit but i've done the sums and i know im not gonna suffer immensely

My Favourite door

My Favourite Door

The door i speak of is a door that resides in my friends downstairs toilet. Ever since i first set foot in their house and used this toilet, i've always caught mysaelf wondering what may lie beyond this door. given that its a door in a toilet, you've probably made a few estimations yourself and i reckon i've brushed upon these ideas also.

y'see, as much my friends wouldnt be offended if i were to peek behind this door, i find myself striving to keep it a secret to myself. when confronted by those wanting to tell me, i back away. these friends know me well enough, they know enough to back down themselves. My want to retain the mystique is a source of humour for these friends (quite understandably, afterall, its only a door) some are puzzled slightly, some understand that its me being me and shrug it off.

This is the only door that i ever really think about at length. Its the only door i dont take for granted.

There is a lesson in my story (ask my friends they'll tell you its true). Alas im going to have to leave you to figure it out for yourselves

Its coming...

oh dear. a lot of things were confronted last week. Aside from my meeting up with claire, there were a couple of incidents with my supervisors at work. nothing in the way of aggression or violence, more the case of silly people getting in my way.

Mike the supervisor has a girlfriend in the office. Her name is Helen, she really does take the piss when it comes to getting the job done. i wanted a rant about this, so i chose to rant on my journal. Silly me chose to do this in the office and at some point during my essay (which would have been posted if he had'nt rumbled me) he caught me. he questioned the nature of this rant. Frankly, i reckon i turned the tables. He was expecting me to try and justify myself into a stammering stupor. NO! i stood up and told him we were going for a word in private.

Firstly i told him this is on the record to mike smith supervisor, not the person. As it was a complaint regarding his bird, he was in the position of being diplomatic and having to be understanding but COULD'NT go to the boss with it cos it was about his girlfirend's lax work ethic. 1 - 0 to me.

after airing my views, he offered his side. all was understood. i was kind of cruel by staying as silent as possible. this meant he got to the point were he just jabberred on cos he felt he had to say more merely because i wasnt saying anything. 2 - 0 to me.

The Supervisor incident involved Shaz. she was being all shouty in an "i'll make you look wrong by being loud" kind of way (i get too much of that from women i know, im certainly not gonna suffer it at work). using the silent trick again, she reached the point were an apology was her only exit. 3 - 0 to me.

after that day, i discovered one of my friends is a bit evil and one of my dearest friends isnt at their best and i cant do shit about it.

i promise the next entries will be jollier and will come with photos

i say potato, you say potarto

it happened. Claire and i met up for a drink and discussed all that which needed discussing. The whole thing went quite pleasantly.

Truth be known i could rant for quite a while about how glad i was last night happened but i figure one night in pub doesnt compare to the fact that i still got a friend that i once thought i might never have again.

in other news. i got me my first practice of the year with dan tomorrow night. i really and truly hope that this year i can persuade him to get off his arse and perform somewhere other than Adelphi. We got the songs, we got way more balls than we first set out and we got people who are actually waiting to see us do our stuff. Saying that, dan doesnt like it when i ask people to come watch us perform. i dont really get it myself. He's quite the misanthrope, so as long as they're not bothering him (and holding me in rapture :-P) he should be happy. maybe he just doesnt want to drive me down to lamp so save on petrol.

time for going. bye now

say cheese...

i got me a new toy just after christmas. A pocket camcorder that also functions as a stills camera and a MP3 player.

i've gone a bit silly taking pictures cos its my intention to place any photographed events up on my blog. the album presented here is me experimenting with photo posting. Truth be known im useless with HTML so a bit of learning and patience will be required. i'll be using paul to get to grips with it.

enjoy the visuals

All endeavour rendered futile…

this one loads didnt happen proper so i'll summarise:

• the counter at work is showing no phone calls answered (contrary to fact), hence the title
• im ill
• I've spoken to Claire. Once on the the phone (a call I made), and we bumped into eachother on the street. all was pleasant. We're meeting up for a drink next week

Other than that, this is my second day off work ill. only tommorrow to work then weekend. Woo Hoo!. I officially dont like my job now and am setting out to find something less customer orientated. im only staying for the money, which aint loads brilliant.

toodle pip

The obligatory Christmas entry….

Christmas eve: Work had me until 3pm, which sucked. The suckiness was counteracted by the fact that I was really quite drunk at work. At the staff and the customers. I managed to keep a straight head with the customers; it’s my colleagues I made more of a show for.

My supervisor was questioned as to whether he would shag a fit monkey or not. He answered yes, but that’s beside the point. He was quite shocked that I asked, as were those around me that heard it.

I spoke to Liam and he was telling me how had auditioned for a porn filmmaker last month. I took this with a pinch of salt, until he showed me the picture that is. Lots of pictures of his cock on his phone were unleashed on me. What could I do but be honest; I complimented Liam on his cock. I questioned him on the nature of the porn he wanted to be in and he told me he’d be humping men on film. I was actually quite blasé about this fact considering I find bumming highly amusing.

I asked big muscley bloke Dave for a picture cos I said he looks like a girl I know. (For any interested who know what im talking about- he looks like Jen!).

After work was over, I joined my father and brother for drinks. Annually we meet on this day and do nothing but get wasted and talk about much we think our mum is brill. ‘cept this year. I bowed out early so I could join Mark and the Murphy girls for drinks. I got an Xmas smooch or two and Dave joined us but I got to see more of him boxing day.

Christmas Day: It was nice. Food, family, friends, socks, smellies and prezzies galore. I reckon we all pretty much did the same thing. No need to document it thoroughly. what was nice is that i conversed Very Very Briefly with Claire (by text message).

Boxing day: watched DVD’s, slept lots. Met up with Dave J on the nighttime. We went to Zach’s for drinks. What was more interesting was that we met up with Dave’s ex-girlfriend, Emma. She was a friend back in my college days and it’s been about two years since I last saw her. We reminisced all night and after dropping Emma off at home, Dave and I returned to my house to smoke some doobie.

The doobie seemed to set certain minds racing, as it was decided at 12:00 AM that we build something out of Simon’s videos (all 300+ of them). We built a huge eye in the middle of our living room and then left it for Simon to receive as a present for his birthday yesterday. What more can you ask for if you’ve got an art attack in your own living room

nearly there...

i hate the festive period on one factor alone. it makes you think.

its not that i always end up in some sort of introspective rut its just that i got someone to miss right now. dont want to like, but my sentimental synapses are firing left, right and centre. i'll say it here and here alone. Im missing having you around mate. i hope you have a good christmas

This particular christmas run up has been over shadowed by other peoples preparation. customer service advisors seem to live many different scenarios on the run up to christmas, except their own. i've not had any time to think of others (well, the others i want to think of that is). im doing most of my shopping last minute, i gotta experience the christmas rush to its cliched fullest. i'll be just like me mam.

next entry will be one of the many millions of entries describing how xmas day felt around the world.

bye

Bored of the rings

I pulled my first sicky under gadget shops eyes this week. largely to do with the fact that i've only had one day off a week for the last five weeks. two days really makes a difference. I know i said i liked the listening and all but the only opportunity i get to REALLY listen is when a big complaint is being made. i get that a lot of these people might be relly top in real life but when on the other end of the phone to me, they come across as wicked bad vibe merchants.

anyway, the sicky was pulled on monday. that very day paul and simon decided to pull an all day stint watching all three of the extended versions of the Lord of the Rings trilogy. a hefty amount of cinema magic to take in with just one film, let alone three. As much it was nice for Simon and Paul, i personally would never take up that much time in the living room for one event and i considered it a bit rude that the whim of one person can take precedent in a house of four very different people.

This same day Paul met my dad for the first time. He seemed quite glad that at least one member of my family had any appreciation for sport. its probably the longest conversation my dad has got out of any of my friends about anything ever also.

You have 30 seconds to comply.....

goddam. loads has happened.

First of all, go me for having a real job now. gadget shop customer services were due close on christmas eve. not now, whic means i got me some work.

Anyhoo. Emma's birthday happenned last weekend. as per the rules, a party happenned. It were another one of those fancy dress affairs we all seem to love. Efforts by Paul (cowboy) Simon(American Civil war soldier) Andy (pirate) and wally (spiv from dads army) are to be awarded. I went as santa clause; largely out of poverty. It was a suit a bought for a party 2 years ago.

The party happened, it were all good as family shindiggs go. Then the Spiders happenned.

I was very popular that night what with my santa outfit and all. in total i was asked for a PS2, a BMX, a malibu Barbie and an egg sandwhich. that was fun.
The 2nd time i saw emma all night was when she informed me she had lost her parents. That seemed to go over my head a bit.
most amazingly, i actually had a good time at spiders that night. Mainly because of all the old faces that were present that night. Even my Bezzie mate mark managed to show his face.

The best part of the night came much later.

After arriving home from spiders with paul and Zoe (paul was loads trying to get to do her), teakaway was ordered. A lengthy wait for a knock at the door passed, and a noise was heard at the door. Paul hurried off to answer in anticipation of his meal but was met with something rather unexpected at our door....

...Armed Police!


Yep. turns out Simon, of all people, was caught on CCTV, wearing his fancy dress costume, with fake rifle in hand. Obviously this sighting had feathers ruffled back at the police cave. Enough to send Tree armed policemen to our door anyway. The situ was cleared up evevntually, after we had to wake simon. All this time i were hurriedly trying to find somewhere to stash my weed. Stoners and armed police make strange bedfellows.

i baked me some space biscuits this week and my they have gone down a treat. the giggly of weed at the price of resin. top banana!

it bin five weeks now. She certainly is commited. Her loss. silly Bint

ooooh! the bastard....

as you may have read, im on the tail end now of a horrible situation with a "friend". its been alright this last week and a half. its not been on my mind. until last night.

after making a sarcastic comment about claire (its expected of me at times), paul piped up, and i quote

"you and her will never be friends again. you may as well not bother"


it brought to mind various chains of thought. firstly, although i have been in a right funk about the whole thing its not nice to hear that i've outright lost a friend forever. in my frustration i still felt we would be hanging out again one day.

Second. the fact that paul said this is either (a) ignorant of the fact that she may have feelings on the whole matter that she could really only express to me alone or (b) she has expressed to him more than he's letting on and it kinda leaked out in his tactless statement.

It's my belief that there are ideas in pauls mind that having me out of Claires life means he can take pride and place as claires closest male friend, settling himself in closer than is safe for the relationship. i've been there. she does somehow inspire that in men.

i was happy after talking this out with Shazia at work. She herself raised the idea of me being usurped. its more believable knowing that an objective and very neutral standpoint like hers could asess it like that.

beyond all that, there are people leaving gadget shop next week to pastures new. shazia is one of them. i'll miss her, she's dead canny like.

got to see my old friend Jamie last night. its nice he still takes time to gather his old college friends. A lot of people who've met him through me have given him a bad rap and its Sooooooo undeserved.

Seeing dave tonight. he's come back up from nottingham for his dads birthday and has taken time out to come see his bezzie mate. dave also rocks.

Claire Davidson can kiss my arse....

this was the e-mail she sent:

"will you just leave it eddie when i said i wanted some space what exactly did you take that to mean i will come to you when i'm ready your constant messages emails phone calls are only adding to all this i am sick of the pressures you put on people who are supposed to be your friends and i need some time away from that so just give it a rest you're only making this worse."


2 phone calls, 1 email and 3 messages is not, in my opinion, constant as she so puts it, especially over a week and a half period. She never actually uttered the words to me "i need some space", that was something those around her suggested i do. She states that i place unecessary pressures on friends/people. She has'nt made it clear that she is feeling pressured but makes out that i make it difficult for more than just her. Yeah i piss off my mates sometimes, but i dont think its her place to assume i inspire this sense of pressure in all my friends. in another way it sounds like she's in some way fighting their corner. Is she trying to rub my nose in something?

"im only making this worse" thats a doozy. making what worse exactly. she hasnt told me what the problem is and refuses to talk to me. this means i have to establish all on my own what room to manouver i have (hence phone calls and messages).

her silence is the worst part.

i think its a horrible show of disrespect. She is showing no respect for me as a person or our friendship. She is being very childish in ignoring the issue completely.
i have friends telling me that i say these things cos because im feeling such and such an emotion. i'll be honest. i miss her not being around and it does sting at times but if im feeling it theres no way im not gonna express it. thats just stoopid

Radio on the TV

I watched a a very warming film last night. The film Is called 'Radio' and it stars Cuba gooding jr and Ed Harris. Its a simple story. A mentally handicapped man in a small American town being accepted by the staff and students of his local high school and then the town as a whole.

Its based on a true story. i took this and went to find what i could find on the internet. James robert kennedy (nicknamed radio) and coach harold jones have their own website. i intend to e-mail radio because his story really touched me and Coach jones, as radio's surrogate "father" for 30 years, comes across as one of the good men in the world we all feel we could be at times.

Go watch the film

back to basics

Angry: at uppity customers, my pension money still not coming through.

upset: at friends who find it easier to believe that im rotten to the core, that my friend cancelled another friday night on me

happy: that its friday, my mini airzooka arrived.

anxious: that Claire may never speak to me again

Watch run ronnie run. its well mega!

How may i help you....

I REALLY like my job.

After spending a year training to be a counsellor, it has been disheartening for me to not be accepted to finish the training off. Im very thankful that the job i am in now lets me use my skills and talents. At the end of my spiel when answering the phones, i always end with "how may i help". i like helping and saying that gives me a fuzzy glow inside that i've never had in previous jobs and never expected to gain from this one.

i had a customer today who had a complaint. after listening to her and getting her through the worst of what she had described, i offered what help i could (numbers addresses blah blah blah) and at the end of the conversation the customer said "thank you for taking the time to listen to me". That made me feel tons better than i have in the past week.

On other matters. She doesnt deserve a friend like me. you know who i mean

One moment please....

Started my new job on thursday. not much was done that day. I had to read various policies and training packs. Friday was when the actual real work started. I just deal with the orders for now. its obscene exactly how many credit card numbers come my way. if i were'nt such a consciencious fellow i could scam loads o people.

the last phone call of the day was an order that ultimately had to be screenec for fraud, i felt a bit bad about informing the nice lady on the phone that this was to happen.

Unfortunately i have my friend ignoring me and not knowing is becoming all the more frustrating. i dont too much like it when this situations arise. maybe its time to cut my losses.

Go Go gadget job

Wahey! everything's coming up eddie.

I got me a message yesterday telling me if i ring the gadget shop they would have a job for me. which they did. only temporary for xmas but what the hell, i can be applying to other employers while im there and i get to spend money on people for christmas. Its customer service work which means i may well have to deal with idiots on a regular basis but i can get by in the satisfaction that im better than some of these idiots.

Mr Me shines umpteen things clean

In taking time to get my mind off certain situations, i went out and tended to the kitchen in probably the most loving way i ever have. i even managed to scrub the perma-rust off one of the woks, which i can never be arsed to do. so come peeps, try and really fuck me off, i got a bedroom and living room to tidy

The theme from national lampoons vacation kicked just before i finished the sentence before this and a bubble of calm energy has enveloped my. its nice when songs do that. its like they know

Fume seeth and other such reactions

not loads inclined to be a two-a-day-er but i gotta rant people.

I am lots angry at the fact that one of best friends thought best to ignore me last night rather than explaining to me what what problem she had with me. im not in any understanding what her problem is so i cant say that she's wrong or anything, but she has in no uncertain terms explained that she needs to decide whether she WANTS to explain the problem.

This fucks me off because

a) i have always made a point of expressing my dislike of her actions. i know she often doesnt wnat to hear them but she still has the ooportunity to understand and asses my opinion.

b) CHOOSING ignorance over discussing rationally WITH A BEST FRIEND shows and underlying lack of respect which i believed we did share. seems im wrong.

Happy Halloween folks