I come from down your way...

i checked my back catalogue today. i have a whopping SEVEN songs, one is collaborative so six and a bit really. This before i add up all the stuff i've done with Dan. The world is ready for me i reckon. just need to learn how to use a HTML editor (i'll be buggered if im learning the language)

A Fluffy and Light Holy Grail...

I've been forever wondering what the entirety of the lyrics were for an 80's milkyway ad campaign. Lucky for me, my curiosity regarding this subject popped up while i was downsurfing the interweb. So using the magic of modems and information pixies, i found what i've been looking for all these years:

MILKY WAY (RED CAR AND BLUE CAR)

The Red Car and the Blue Car had a race
All Red wants to do is stuff his face
He eats everything he sees
From trucks to prickly trees
But smart old Blue he chose the Milky Way

He's looking for a tasty treat, fluffy and light
'Cos he knows it won't spoil his appetite

Oh no, the bridge has gone
Old Red can't carry on
But smart old Blue he chose the Milky Way

Fight You...

Eddie is a Giant Robot that has a Metal Jaw, carries a Ray Gun, swats Aeroplanes like Flies, and can Phase in and out of Existence. Strength: 9 Agility: 8 Intelligence: 7 To see if your Giant Battle Monster can defeat Eddie, enter your name and choose an attack: fights Eddie using StrengthAgilityIntelligence

Ten Top Trivia Tips about Eddie!

Like Wrestlemania, but magic....

This is Funny

All my friends are STILL wrong about James Blunt...

Christmas happened again. Here's the run down...

Christmas eve usually involves getting drunk with my pa and bro. Nothing changed. Despite my best efforts to avoid daytime drinking i arrived home at tea time with a merry head.

That night i spent in Lamp with various factions of friends from throughout my life.

Christmas Day - Im betting it was not too disimilar to everyone else's so theres no need to describe it. Got a superman DVD that i were'nt expecting....

I've spent most of this week at Claire's looking after her cat. it's been handy living near loads of my friends these past few days. Paul came down to visit and has been staying at Simon's, which means he's only been round the corner for him to come visit me.

As i had to spend the week at Claire's, she kindly fed me to. She did a shop at Lidl. By 'eck those Italians and Germans dont half know what taste is. Mmmmmmmmmm........

Tonight Matthew...2

My cyborg friend 4n-dy pointed me in the direction of this here website. My face, so this site tells me, bears a resembelnce (highest ranked first) to these celebs. Some i dont know, one killed Martin Luther king:

Andriy Shevchenko (53%)
Carl Sagan (51%)
Barack Obama (49%)
Walter Nernst (45%)
D. H. Lawrence (41%)
Anthony Keidis (40%)
David Beckham (40%)
James Earl Ray (40%)
Arnold Schwarzenegger (39%)
Jack Brabham (38%)

Could anybody shine a light on the nature of some of these famous types?

I was the one who let you know, i was just sorry ever after...

Here i am, drunk on a bottle of red wine and situated at my keyboard. I've ranted stoned before but never drunk. forgive me if it takes a turn for the maudlin...

Fucking Christmas. I went shopping for presents today and it was most tiring. Remarkably, i got most of it finished, but it did take its toll physically. I arrived home, nodded off and awoke with minutes to spare before i had to leave for work.

I met up with mireille for a drink on monday. She still manages to attain a level of lovliness that can never be questioned. She has a wit that would level any man who would take time out to listen to her, a smile that would bring down walls and a presence that would never offend. It's a shame i can never pay her these compliments...

I opened one of my presents early. I should'nt have but its shape intrigued me. Paul got me an original Back to the Future film cell. Time travel and my favourite film all in one. I am full of glee...

how very civilised...

I had my first of (im hoping) many xmas meals this month.

I went to sheffield to see rob this weekend. kindly given a lift there by louise.

It was very grown up debauchery. After the main meal, along with the post nosh smoking, came the cheese and buscuits. We then proceeded to polish of 6 litres of wine.

A good weekend....

69

Its that bloody month again 'The end of year festival (TM)'. its a nice season but there's the buying and the eating and the drinking and the enforced socialising.

My Wishlist:

1. Big Sword
2. A time machine
3. Lots of comics

I've been good this year. I reckon i'll get what i want.

The Xmas experiment- a group of children, of varying ages below, lets say, 5. They're told well before they should be, that santa does'nt exist. ITV will film it and they can see how much they enjoy christmas compared to the control group, kid's who are well oblivious to santa's non-existence. Like a 'house of tiny tearaways' christmas special.....

If you need me, i'll be in space....

On checking on my MP3 library, a happened upon the little display in Media Player that tells me how long in time the folder. im clocking in 31 hours, 1 minute and 7 seconds. I never had that long a playlist on paul's computer.

Whats better is that playing them randomly never gets disappointing, cos i put them all there.

Got my DivX DVD player this week. saving entire seasons on 2 discs at most is way going to save on media. I've been watching Monkey Dust loads on it this week. I think ivan dobsky is a genius character. One major reason i suppose, is that he's got a geordie accent. Its my most favourite comedy accent to respond to stuff in.

I've also been watching 'Carnivale'. its one of story arcs you got to really stick to to get anything out of it. but im perservering. Its got the bacwards talking dwarf from twin peaks in it...

Tonight Matthew...

Freakin' ass face transplants

Its all new and fiddly now but think about when its as easy as taking an asprin. Or celebrities with messiah complexes cloning their own faces for their fans to adorn. Like the Come to daddy video but with tweenage boyband fans.....

You're the best, all round...

George Best. He died. Thats said when that happens. Its even sadder when someone's death is over shadowed by another, like when Kurt Cobain pegged it the same day as Bill Hicks.

RIP Pat Morita

Miaow

I dont know if i like this...

Your results:
You are Catwoman

Catwoman 75% Spider-Man 70% Green Lantern 70% Superman 60% The Flash 60% Iron Man 50% Supergirl 43% Hulk 40% Wonder Woman 38% Robin 38% Batman 25%

You have had a tough childhood, you know how to be a thief and exploit others but you stand up for society's cast-offs.

Click here to take the "Which Superhero are you?" quiz...

Mines "Pchown", Whats yours?

What happenned last night:

i shot Rich with my gun. He retaliated my developing a bigger weapon to attack me with. My attempt to construct and power up my force field belt failed and in the end i had to call for back up from my cyborg mate 4n-dy.

true. all of it.

What happenned today: made a new friend and started on the first steps to making my future happen. made another new friend at work....

a good day.

John Williams would have summat to say....

Saw The teaser trailer for Superman Returns

Go watch it...

Watched Threshold. Its got a wee man in it. And The Robot from Star Trek. I reckon I'll follow see whats going on....

Awesom-O 4000

I've always wanted to see myself as a south park citizen. i reckon i've captured myself well.
If you want to go try it yourself, go here
I've even accomodated for the tell tale gruft often found lingering around my headular area.

Anyway...

Ive been twatting about far to long trying sort out various video files i've recently downloaded. It's not the piece of cake i once believed it to be.

I tried to get me a copy of Flightplan. Downloaded ok (and at super speed as well) but it came telling me it was an AVI file, a run of the mill format. No media player i had would play it and no codec i had would deal with it. suffice to say, to the trash can it went.

I also got me a copy of Secret of the Sword. I spent most of sunday watching He-Man and She-Ra duke it out with skeletor and Hordak. To this day i still get all goose pimply when Prince Adam makes his transformation to He-Man. I often have the He-Man theme tune on myMP3 player. It's a rousing piece. really sets you up for the day......

I Vant to suck your blood...

This here is the character im currently playing with inVampire: The Masquerade. So far this character has been a bit hit and miss.

This charasmatic coterie leader did successfully collaborate with his Malkavian colleague. We tricked a security guard into thinking David Letterman had been viciously attcked outside a factory we needed to infiltrate.

I managed to blood bond one of my coterie to me. im so ridiculously conniving.

Right now he's in the past somewhere. who knows what crazy shenanigans will occur....

No Super powers as of yet....

I payed a visit to the hospital today for my MRI scan today.

After seeing a consultant a couple of months back, the x-rays revealed that my bones are'nt fitting into their sockets correctly (more square than round). So they sent me to get an altogether more industrial sized scan.

My Skeleton. Yesterday.


I was dressed for the occasion, tracksuit bottoms and a t-shirt, all items with no metal bits so as not to mess up the procedure.

After lying down on the bed, they put my feet together then selotaped them to keep them together.

The machine makes a god awful noise. like a highly localised construction site (what i imagine the doozers would make). to combat this, they place headphones on you, piping through easy listening jazz tracks to relax to while your body is bombarded with magnetic fields.

It were'nt half uncomfortable by the end, all that staying still i had to do. I hope from this that the cause of my pain is truly established. putting on my socks is murder....

Tis the season....

I am pooped. i spent 3 hours on a train last night. slept in a reclining chair with a very bad case of cramp and spent another three hours on a train today. I went to Nottinghamand back for the third party in as many weekends. i did take photos this time.

It were bloody fun. Tracy (Daves missus) had some of her old uni friends up from london for the party. All have MSc's in astro-physics. All bloody nice people. Dave's band mates were there also. The whole deal was kind of a belated house warming party, offset by the vivid cacophony that was bonfire night...

Look out for the louis theroux looky likey. He even carried himself like louis theroux. I called him louis all night.

I also took a picture of the wrong coloured house on daves street. it plain old dont look right.

I've had a proper good time over the last 3 weekends. i've pretty much seen all of my friends at one function or another. Im full up on soul food...

Bad Press....

We all hate cold calling. It gets on everyones tits, especially in down time.

But ...

i have developed a fascination with how frustratingly mixed up people get about market research. There are some issues that need addressing:

• We DO NOT have a database of anykind with information on anybody. If a survey does carry a name we ask for, its because that person is a customer of the company we're doing the survey for (respondants are way more receptive in this case)
• When you get the response "i work nights, you woke me up" its always quite harsh. thing is if it were one of their mates ringing up, they would know already that their friend works nights so knows not to bother. but they would'nt get it in the neck. Same goes "your phone call woke my child"
• we are asked (and quite condescendingly) why we're not in a line of work that provides more convenient hours. This one does'nt apply to me as such, im just a lazy ass mo' fo' (with a dream, mind). I know that theres a lady working were i do because she is single handedly funding her son through university. This job is easy money for someone who really does need it. the public shouldnt judge.

Im not saying that we should all take up thechallenge if we get a market research call. there are times when ANY phone call is inconvenient. i just think alot of misconceptions should e cast aside.

Next on my Market research agenda is the suggestion that our UNIX based surveys take on the form of text adventures. product placement with thrilling gameplay. thatwould certainly draw in the info that the big businesses need. And you get to fight a dragon at the end.....