"i could show a movie on your butt, fatso!"

Anybody not watching Police Academy on Channe 4l right now wants shooting.....

Soundtrack to your life....

The movie soundtrack of your life.
The rules:1. Put your music player of choice on shuffle
2. Scene one = first song played, scene two = second, so on.
3. No cheating/skipping
4. Pass it on

Opening Credits - Last Train home - Lost Prophets
Waking Up – The Bates - Billie Jean
An Ordinary Day – The Magnetic fields - Underwear (my "ordinary" days are really awesome or really mundane, but thats based on the scene and song name, not the songs context)
Falling in Love – The Magnetic fields - My Sentimental Melody (very fitting, seeing as it comes from the album '69 Love songs')
The Rumble – Ray stevens - Purple People Eater
The Break-up – David Cross - Socks and Shoes (a stand up monologue, not actually a song)
Getting Back Together – The Human League - Louise
Life's Okay – Ween - Big Jilm
The Mental Breakdown – Menswear - Being Brave
The Flashback – John williams - Back to the Future Theme (all the hairs on the back of my neck are tingling)
The Frat Party – The Divine Comedy - Generation Sex (the most fitting so far i reckon)
Everybody Dance Now – The Raconteurs - Blue Veins
Regretting – Mike Oldfield - The Top of the Morning
The Long Night Alone – Oasis - Mucky fingers
A Death – The Divine Comedy - Going Downhill Fast
End Credits - The Smiths - There is a light that never goes out

I want to see somebody make this film. See how they cope with the ever shifting tone...

*sniff*

I've just watched the last ever (as in no more they are'nt going to trick us again) Charmed. I have'nt been this choked up about a series finale since Buffy came to an end. No doubt something else will crop up in the coming years that will tug on my heart just as much as Buffy and charmed did. for now i'll have to settle for dramatic cliffhangers and gripping plots until some new set of supernatural females come and sweep me away. Besides, evil wont fight itself...

Aw Bless....

How ace are my mates, eh?

On Friday i was all psyched up co my copy of the new Pearl Jam arrived. Went about my day, toddled off to work. Turned on my phone after finishing work and my phone tells me i have a message from Wally, informing me that Pearl Jam were to play live on Jools holland that night.

At midnight last night, I got a text message from Paul telling me that Pearl Jam were on channel 4 in about 1 hour and a half. up i got and waited through boring latenight trash to watch.

I would'nt have watch these programmes otherwise. Cheers dudes!

Transfarmers.Moo Cows in Disguise.....

Eddie -- [noun]: A human transformer (Robot in disguise) 'How will you be defined in the dictionary?' at QuizGalaxy.com

Support Underground Artists

Friends forever....

I love Scrubs. I think it's one of themost well written TV programmes i have ever seen. Last noght i watched episode 20 of season 5 and it was easily the best ever episode of Scrubs there has ever been. Scrubs provides me with entertainment, happiness, sadness, annoyance, and acceptance in every single way that any one of my closest friends would. that is why i consider this TV programme my friend. Not merely a favourite TV show, but my friend...

Avast Behind *snigger*....

My pirate name is:

Mad Tom Flint

Every pirate is a little bit crazy. You, though, are more than just a little bit. Like the rock flint, you're hard and sharp. But, also like flint, you're easily chipped, and sparky. Arr!

Get your own pirate name from fidius.org.

Selling Penguins to Appollo Creed...

Last Sunday i went up north to Saltburn to visit Paul. The time i've spent up north was spent mostly by the coast so it proper felt like a holiday, so here's my holiday in all its glory...

The night i arrived in Saltburn, no sooner had i got my lugage down on the floor at Paul's, we were pub bound. After a couple of pints in town we headed to a pub called the ship by the beach. Taking a shortcut along the beach, Paul and i came across this:

I decided to call it Steve. Paul asked some passers by if the creture should be as far inland as we saw it, but we were assured it was going to be ok. It then barked at Paul in what i assume was dislike.

The next day was bank holiday monday, so we had a day out like pretty much everyone else in the country that day. We first parked up in a place called Runswick Bay.

What you cant see in the picture, further to the left, are the houses near the bay. Built into the bank almost, the whole place is a labrynthine complex that you can easily get lost in if you didnt know the place. Walking back up the bank was a task as well, i was having to stop for a breather every five minutes. The flats of Hull are comfort.

Next stop was the village in which Paul grew up, Hinderwell. I was shown a couple of sights icnluding the war memorial, the house where Paul grew up and the local "estate". One thing i did notice in th front Gardens of Hinderwell was trampolines

I spotted 4 within at least a 50 metre radius. to say they were everywhere would be an exaggeratin, but they had a definite presence in the village.

Paul took me to pub that day to watch middlesborough play. the football i can give or take, the venue however was of particular interest

This is Paul stood outside a pub that the locals (at least Paul did) as the "Back Alex". this is because its entrance is in a back alley. The kind you'd see big biins where other businesses back onto. Nice little pub it was and all.

Tuesday, paul took me To the town of Middlesborough. We tried our hardest to find somewhere of cultural signifcance to visit, but to no avail. i did take a trip to the local Forbidden Planet and bought a couple of comics and did look a couple of interesting sights. The Town Hall i thought looked pretty

The cascading waterfall thingy out side the crown court

and the huge arty bottle near the courts

After giving up on Middlesborough, we headed to somewhere not unlike Kingwwood, on the outskirts, to go bowling. Just like my birthday, we bowled a little (Paul won):

and then we went on to shoot the shit out of some zombies:

After a bite to eat at Burger King, home we went.

On the Wednesday we paid a vist to Whitby. This would be the second time i've been to Whitby but it felt different because we were visiting it as a place nearby rather than a grand day out to the town of Whitby. Even so, we wandered the place with as much aplomb as regular tourists. we all know what pleasues Whitby holds so im not going to bore with sights we've all seen before but i will show you the first ever picture i took using my camera's timer:

That's Paul and i atop the light house on one of the piers at Whitby.

As well as dining on the customary fish and chips and playing on the 2p machines, i sampled a chocolate kebab. Strawberries and marshmallows, skewered and covered in chocolate. dead sickly it was.

One thing i brought back with me from Saltburn was the knowledge of a local delicacy.

What you're seeing here is a Parmo. A dish known only to those in and around Teeside. I had two of these whilst away and they are load yummy. A nice alternative to a kebab after a nights drinking...

Names have been changed to protect the innocent...

Now i know that American bashing seems to have become common place (mainly in the world, but not a practice im part of) but every now and again it sucks to be not American. I refer to the fact that only US citizens can get their grubby little mits on advanced copies of the new Pearl Jam album, with a limted edition live CD. Grrr.....

As far as seing Pearl Jam at Leeds is concerned, im seriously considering bidding for one of the extortionatly priced bits of paper on ebay. On noticing that Audioslave were on the line up it occured to me i'd be able to see Pearl Jam AND Chris Cornell in the same weekend. Chris freakin' Cornell. I may turn up in a wedding dress, see if he wants to get hitched there and then.

What you're looking at here is my new tea caddy. To look at it, i think that caddy is to common a name for it, but it'll have to do for now. My Friend "Joan" got me it for my birthday. It kind of reminds me of that bloke in 'Bottom' who had the false leg carved by South American Virgins or something along those lines. Atop the lid is a tiny wooden elephant, maybe designed to be the handle, who knows. Either way its a pretty piece.

I've relocated my music post to a new web space recently and i've been getting lots of nice things said about my songs. Makes me think that shooting for fame (or at least recognition) is'nt so bad an idea after all...

Innovations in tea...

Huzzah!

My mostest favourite of drinks has been given a make over. nothing to Adventurous mind.

Tetley have released 'tetley extra strong'. i've not looked into it proper yet, but i imagine we're talking trucker strength tea with just one teabag. with round teabags encasing it it'll brew quite satisfactory as well.

Cheers! Chin Chin!

I wandered lonely as a cloud....

I have this piece i wrote two or three years back. It's only words as i could never find the right sound to go with it to complete it as a song. I am rather proud of it, it being one of my first efforts as a lyricist. In lew of its musical defficency i've decided to enter the piece into the 2006 national poetry competition.

I have never considered myself a poet (i find the term far too pretentious) and i dont consider myself to have the talent of Neil Hannon, Eminem or Morrissey (wordsmiths i admire) for lyrical prose but i reckon i should see this one through, see if any other artistic community might be willing to welcome me in even if it is just for a cuppa and a natter...

Mr Edwards' Opus

Huzzah!

With a need to bury myself in an activity today, i pitted my wits against a song i've been trying to complete for months. I changed my focus from the rythm section (my forte i suppose) to the melody and by golly i think i've cracked it. There is one specific detail missing; the string sound i need doesnt come in any octave lower than F5. It wont be the song it wants to be until then. boobies!

World Wide Suicide

I was asked last week wether i wanted to go see guns n' roses in Dublin in June. After much deliberation, i decided why not. It'll be first big gig (would've been the only but read on) of the year and i'll also get to fly in an aeroplane for the first time ever.

i were looking at all the recent guns n' roses news on the net, in light of my upcoming excursion to the emerald isle, wondering why exactly GnR have suddenly decided to resurface (not with the original line up. that'd be bonkers). I was gripped suddenly by memeories of seing GnR 4 years ago at the leeds festival. This and sheer curiosity sent me to google so that i might trawl the internet for any news on the line up for this leeds carling weekend. Now, what was posted as rumour on one website had me scouring further. To my surprise, my childlike, first present on christmas day, brand new puppy surprise, i can tell the world this:

PEARL JAM ARE TOURING THE WORLD THIS YEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And leeds bound they seem to be

I am officially the most exited man ever................

"If you put your mind to it, you can accomplish anything"

I have recieved objective and unsolcited praise for my music. Makes a change from asking my friends to be nice about me.

I did think about not telling you all what was said, but my ego has already spilled over onto the net by the meer presence of this blog.

I was told that i sounded original by one of my new fans and they said they liked, of all things, my singing voice.

Tell strangers about me....

Hit parade...

I have posted one of my new songs on myspace.com. Just clickify the linkage in the side bar that sez 'my music'. Enjoy

Tossed salads and scrambled eggs...

I missed out on 3 shifts at work this work. My body, as it invariably does, backfired on me again. This time it has lovingly furnished me with monstrous toothache and trapped wind. The former making me unable to concentrate on nothing but the pain meant i would have been useless on the phone. 4day weekend for me. Thanks body....

I decided that i should show my face at my brother's house warming party. Largely to make a point; he had'nt invited me. It was fun to a degree, but in hindsight, i reckong im going to avoid any social events involving my brother and his friends in the future.

First of all there was little scrawny fella who could not and would not obey Spliff ettiquette. this fact was highlighted by the fact that i was the only person there with weed and not resin. as i was skinning up, he was on at me to get it finished (called me "amateur" because i was'nt going as fast as he liked), then when i sparked up, he waited until it got to him and then, with a fair amount of the joint to go, disappeared into the kitchen to finish it all to himself. When it comes to recreational drugs, i like to share the wealth. But not when it comes to cheeky twats like him.

Secondly, and this was the one that had me the most peeved, i had one of brothers friend go off an unnecessary and wrong may i add, tyranical rant. I had two points to make to this fella:

• I work in market research BUT
• i do not represent market research and what he doesnt like about

Now (and any one of my closest friends can back me up on this) i can talk at an alarming speed people, often dont get what i say and have to ask me to repeat myself. This is exacerbated by drug and alcohol intake. So, with a couple of points to press and an already intoxicating amount of alcohol counsumed, my brothers friend took this as something else completely and went off on his rant. he said i always come across as a cunt, i was talking to fast so as to confuse him on purpose. he then started to tell me how he'd "been there" (in a tone that was suggesting that i had'nt and know nothing). He said i always try to analyse things and make myself look cleverer.

This was'nt the case. I was just talking too fast. but i am going to analyse it now. given that he went off on one because he miunderstood my intentions conversationally speaking, everything he accused me of not being and not understanding was clearly one big projection of a lot of his own insecurities. Only one other person has been this wrong about me in the past and i dont talk to her anymore....

I've been typing this with ease because i got a new keyboard and dont have to destroy the space bar every time a space is required...

Theres a fit deaf woman in it as well...

i watched a very engrossing and thought provoking film the other night. Its called What the #$*! do we know .

I would judge it as a think piece but the subjects covered are way too deep and academic for me to give my full opinion of the films content.

Hunt it down or ask me and i'll lend it to you....

Innovations in coke...

My saccharin tasting diabetic prayers have been answered once again.

A while back i expressed my joy at discovering that the sugar free version of Dr Pepper was now available in 5ooml bottles. The cans were hard to find and i could'nt rely on the 2 litre bottles (available in abundance) for drinking Dr Pepper on the go. suffice to say, i got my wish.

This left me with one final wish...

I had longed for sometime to appreciate the diet version of cherry coke. unlike Dr Pepper, it was'nt available in any format in this country (the US have had it since 1985). I was mildly appeased when diet coke and lemon was launched, as with the vanilla and lime versions respectively. Now things have changed.

To sum up, Diet Coke with Cherry (it's called Diet Cherry Coke in the US. why not here?) has been launched but other flavours have had to be sacrificed. You can find out why here and here. Happy Cherry flavoured moments to you all......

I Heart the Internet....

Modern technology and a need recognition have ended in me putting up some of my songs on the myspace site. Go, listen.