I wandered lonely as a cloud....

I have this piece i wrote two or three years back. It's only words as i could never find the right sound to go with it to complete it as a song. I am rather proud of it, it being one of my first efforts as a lyricist. In lew of its musical defficency i've decided to enter the piece into the 2006 national poetry competition.

I have never considered myself a poet (i find the term far too pretentious) and i dont consider myself to have the talent of Neil Hannon, Eminem or Morrissey (wordsmiths i admire) for lyrical prose but i reckon i should see this one through, see if any other artistic community might be willing to welcome me in even if it is just for a cuppa and a natter...

Mr Edwards' Opus

Huzzah!

With a need to bury myself in an activity today, i pitted my wits against a song i've been trying to complete for months. I changed my focus from the rythm section (my forte i suppose) to the melody and by golly i think i've cracked it. There is one specific detail missing; the string sound i need doesnt come in any octave lower than F5. It wont be the song it wants to be until then. boobies!

World Wide Suicide

I was asked last week wether i wanted to go see guns n' roses in Dublin in June. After much deliberation, i decided why not. It'll be first big gig (would've been the only but read on) of the year and i'll also get to fly in an aeroplane for the first time ever.

i were looking at all the recent guns n' roses news on the net, in light of my upcoming excursion to the emerald isle, wondering why exactly GnR have suddenly decided to resurface (not with the original line up. that'd be bonkers). I was gripped suddenly by memeories of seing GnR 4 years ago at the leeds festival. This and sheer curiosity sent me to google so that i might trawl the internet for any news on the line up for this leeds carling weekend. Now, what was posted as rumour on one website had me scouring further. To my surprise, my childlike, first present on christmas day, brand new puppy surprise, i can tell the world this:

PEARL JAM ARE TOURING THE WORLD THIS YEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And leeds bound they seem to be

I am officially the most exited man ever................

"If you put your mind to it, you can accomplish anything"

I have recieved objective and unsolcited praise for my music. Makes a change from asking my friends to be nice about me.

I did think about not telling you all what was said, but my ego has already spilled over onto the net by the meer presence of this blog.

I was told that i sounded original by one of my new fans and they said they liked, of all things, my singing voice.

Tell strangers about me....

Hit parade...

I have posted one of my new songs on myspace.com. Just clickify the linkage in the side bar that sez 'my music'. Enjoy

Tossed salads and scrambled eggs...

I missed out on 3 shifts at work this work. My body, as it invariably does, backfired on me again. This time it has lovingly furnished me with monstrous toothache and trapped wind. The former making me unable to concentrate on nothing but the pain meant i would have been useless on the phone. 4day weekend for me. Thanks body....

I decided that i should show my face at my brother's house warming party. Largely to make a point; he had'nt invited me. It was fun to a degree, but in hindsight, i reckong im going to avoid any social events involving my brother and his friends in the future.

First of all there was little scrawny fella who could not and would not obey Spliff ettiquette. this fact was highlighted by the fact that i was the only person there with weed and not resin. as i was skinning up, he was on at me to get it finished (called me "amateur" because i was'nt going as fast as he liked), then when i sparked up, he waited until it got to him and then, with a fair amount of the joint to go, disappeared into the kitchen to finish it all to himself. When it comes to recreational drugs, i like to share the wealth. But not when it comes to cheeky twats like him.

Secondly, and this was the one that had me the most peeved, i had one of brothers friend go off an unnecessary and wrong may i add, tyranical rant. I had two points to make to this fella:

• I work in market research BUT
• i do not represent market research and what he doesnt like about

Now (and any one of my closest friends can back me up on this) i can talk at an alarming speed people, often dont get what i say and have to ask me to repeat myself. This is exacerbated by drug and alcohol intake. So, with a couple of points to press and an already intoxicating amount of alcohol counsumed, my brothers friend took this as something else completely and went off on his rant. he said i always come across as a cunt, i was talking to fast so as to confuse him on purpose. he then started to tell me how he'd "been there" (in a tone that was suggesting that i had'nt and know nothing). He said i always try to analyse things and make myself look cleverer.

This was'nt the case. I was just talking too fast. but i am going to analyse it now. given that he went off on one because he miunderstood my intentions conversationally speaking, everything he accused me of not being and not understanding was clearly one big projection of a lot of his own insecurities. Only one other person has been this wrong about me in the past and i dont talk to her anymore....

I've been typing this with ease because i got a new keyboard and dont have to destroy the space bar every time a space is required...

Theres a fit deaf woman in it as well...

i watched a very engrossing and thought provoking film the other night. Its called What the #$*! do we know .

I would judge it as a think piece but the subjects covered are way too deep and academic for me to give my full opinion of the films content.

Hunt it down or ask me and i'll lend it to you....

Innovations in coke...

My saccharin tasting diabetic prayers have been answered once again.

A while back i expressed my joy at discovering that the sugar free version of Dr Pepper was now available in 5ooml bottles. The cans were hard to find and i could'nt rely on the 2 litre bottles (available in abundance) for drinking Dr Pepper on the go. suffice to say, i got my wish.

This left me with one final wish...

I had longed for sometime to appreciate the diet version of cherry coke. unlike Dr Pepper, it was'nt available in any format in this country (the US have had it since 1985). I was mildly appeased when diet coke and lemon was launched, as with the vanilla and lime versions respectively. Now things have changed.

To sum up, Diet Coke with Cherry (it's called Diet Cherry Coke in the US. why not here?) has been launched but other flavours have had to be sacrificed. You can find out why here and here. Happy Cherry flavoured moments to you all......

I Heart the Internet....

Modern technology and a need recognition have ended in me putting up some of my songs on the myspace site. Go, listen.

I come from down your way...

i checked my back catalogue today. i have a whopping SEVEN songs, one is collaborative so six and a bit really. This before i add up all the stuff i've done with Dan. The world is ready for me i reckon. just need to learn how to use a HTML editor (i'll be buggered if im learning the language)

A Fluffy and Light Holy Grail...

I've been forever wondering what the entirety of the lyrics were for an 80's milkyway ad campaign. Lucky for me, my curiosity regarding this subject popped up while i was downsurfing the interweb. So using the magic of modems and information pixies, i found what i've been looking for all these years:

MILKY WAY (RED CAR AND BLUE CAR)

The Red Car and the Blue Car had a race
All Red wants to do is stuff his face
He eats everything he sees
From trucks to prickly trees
But smart old Blue he chose the Milky Way

He's looking for a tasty treat, fluffy and light
'Cos he knows it won't spoil his appetite

Oh no, the bridge has gone
Old Red can't carry on
But smart old Blue he chose the Milky Way

Fight You...

Eddie is a Giant Robot that has a Metal Jaw, carries a Ray Gun, swats Aeroplanes like Flies, and can Phase in and out of Existence. Strength: 9 Agility: 8 Intelligence: 7 To see if your Giant Battle Monster can defeat Eddie, enter your name and choose an attack: fights Eddie using StrengthAgilityIntelligence

Ten Top Trivia Tips about Eddie!

Like Wrestlemania, but magic....

This is Funny

All my friends are STILL wrong about James Blunt...

Christmas happened again. Here's the run down...

Christmas eve usually involves getting drunk with my pa and bro. Nothing changed. Despite my best efforts to avoid daytime drinking i arrived home at tea time with a merry head.

That night i spent in Lamp with various factions of friends from throughout my life.

Christmas Day - Im betting it was not too disimilar to everyone else's so theres no need to describe it. Got a superman DVD that i were'nt expecting....

I've spent most of this week at Claire's looking after her cat. it's been handy living near loads of my friends these past few days. Paul came down to visit and has been staying at Simon's, which means he's only been round the corner for him to come visit me.

As i had to spend the week at Claire's, she kindly fed me to. She did a shop at Lidl. By 'eck those Italians and Germans dont half know what taste is. Mmmmmmmmmm........

Tonight Matthew...2

My cyborg friend 4n-dy pointed me in the direction of this here website. My face, so this site tells me, bears a resembelnce (highest ranked first) to these celebs. Some i dont know, one killed Martin Luther king:

Andriy Shevchenko (53%)
Carl Sagan (51%)
Barack Obama (49%)
Walter Nernst (45%)
D. H. Lawrence (41%)
Anthony Keidis (40%)
David Beckham (40%)
James Earl Ray (40%)
Arnold Schwarzenegger (39%)
Jack Brabham (38%)

Could anybody shine a light on the nature of some of these famous types?

I was the one who let you know, i was just sorry ever after...

Here i am, drunk on a bottle of red wine and situated at my keyboard. I've ranted stoned before but never drunk. forgive me if it takes a turn for the maudlin...

Fucking Christmas. I went shopping for presents today and it was most tiring. Remarkably, i got most of it finished, but it did take its toll physically. I arrived home, nodded off and awoke with minutes to spare before i had to leave for work.

I met up with mireille for a drink on monday. She still manages to attain a level of lovliness that can never be questioned. She has a wit that would level any man who would take time out to listen to her, a smile that would bring down walls and a presence that would never offend. It's a shame i can never pay her these compliments...

I opened one of my presents early. I should'nt have but its shape intrigued me. Paul got me an original Back to the Future film cell. Time travel and my favourite film all in one. I am full of glee...

how very civilised...

I had my first of (im hoping) many xmas meals this month.

I went to sheffield to see rob this weekend. kindly given a lift there by louise.

It was very grown up debauchery. After the main meal, along with the post nosh smoking, came the cheese and buscuits. We then proceeded to polish of 6 litres of wine.

A good weekend....

69

Its that bloody month again 'The end of year festival (TM)'. its a nice season but there's the buying and the eating and the drinking and the enforced socialising.

My Wishlist:

1. Big Sword
2. A time machine
3. Lots of comics

I've been good this year. I reckon i'll get what i want.

The Xmas experiment- a group of children, of varying ages below, lets say, 5. They're told well before they should be, that santa does'nt exist. ITV will film it and they can see how much they enjoy christmas compared to the control group, kid's who are well oblivious to santa's non-existence. Like a 'house of tiny tearaways' christmas special.....

If you need me, i'll be in space....

On checking on my MP3 library, a happened upon the little display in Media Player that tells me how long in time the folder. im clocking in 31 hours, 1 minute and 7 seconds. I never had that long a playlist on paul's computer.

Whats better is that playing them randomly never gets disappointing, cos i put them all there.

Got my DivX DVD player this week. saving entire seasons on 2 discs at most is way going to save on media. I've been watching Monkey Dust loads on it this week. I think ivan dobsky is a genius character. One major reason i suppose, is that he's got a geordie accent. Its my most favourite comedy accent to respond to stuff in.

I've also been watching 'Carnivale'. its one of story arcs you got to really stick to to get anything out of it. but im perservering. Its got the bacwards talking dwarf from twin peaks in it...

Tonight Matthew...

Freakin' ass face transplants

Its all new and fiddly now but think about when its as easy as taking an asprin. Or celebrities with messiah complexes cloning their own faces for their fans to adorn. Like the Come to daddy video but with tweenage boyband fans.....