i say potato, you say potarto

it happened. Claire and i met up for a drink and discussed all that which needed discussing. The whole thing went quite pleasantly.

Truth be known i could rant for quite a while about how glad i was last night happened but i figure one night in pub doesnt compare to the fact that i still got a friend that i once thought i might never have again.

in other news. i got me my first practice of the year with dan tomorrow night. i really and truly hope that this year i can persuade him to get off his arse and perform somewhere other than Adelphi. We got the songs, we got way more balls than we first set out and we got people who are actually waiting to see us do our stuff. Saying that, dan doesnt like it when i ask people to come watch us perform. i dont really get it myself. He's quite the misanthrope, so as long as they're not bothering him (and holding me in rapture :-P) he should be happy. maybe he just doesnt want to drive me down to lamp so save on petrol.

time for going. bye now

say cheese...

i got me a new toy just after christmas. A pocket camcorder that also functions as a stills camera and a MP3 player.

i've gone a bit silly taking pictures cos its my intention to place any photographed events up on my blog. the album presented here is me experimenting with photo posting. Truth be known im useless with HTML so a bit of learning and patience will be required. i'll be using paul to get to grips with it.

enjoy the visuals

All endeavour rendered futile…

this one loads didnt happen proper so i'll summarise:

• the counter at work is showing no phone calls answered (contrary to fact), hence the title
• im ill
• I've spoken to Claire. Once on the the phone (a call I made), and we bumped into eachother on the street. all was pleasant. We're meeting up for a drink next week

Other than that, this is my second day off work ill. only tommorrow to work then weekend. Woo Hoo!. I officially dont like my job now and am setting out to find something less customer orientated. im only staying for the money, which aint loads brilliant.

toodle pip

The obligatory Christmas entry….

Christmas eve: Work had me until 3pm, which sucked. The suckiness was counteracted by the fact that I was really quite drunk at work. At the staff and the customers. I managed to keep a straight head with the customers; it’s my colleagues I made more of a show for.

My supervisor was questioned as to whether he would shag a fit monkey or not. He answered yes, but that’s beside the point. He was quite shocked that I asked, as were those around me that heard it.

I spoke to Liam and he was telling me how had auditioned for a porn filmmaker last month. I took this with a pinch of salt, until he showed me the picture that is. Lots of pictures of his cock on his phone were unleashed on me. What could I do but be honest; I complimented Liam on his cock. I questioned him on the nature of the porn he wanted to be in and he told me he’d be humping men on film. I was actually quite blasé about this fact considering I find bumming highly amusing.

I asked big muscley bloke Dave for a picture cos I said he looks like a girl I know. (For any interested who know what im talking about- he looks like Jen!).

After work was over, I joined my father and brother for drinks. Annually we meet on this day and do nothing but get wasted and talk about much we think our mum is brill. ‘cept this year. I bowed out early so I could join Mark and the Murphy girls for drinks. I got an Xmas smooch or two and Dave joined us but I got to see more of him boxing day.

Christmas Day: It was nice. Food, family, friends, socks, smellies and prezzies galore. I reckon we all pretty much did the same thing. No need to document it thoroughly. what was nice is that i conversed Very Very Briefly with Claire (by text message).

Boxing day: watched DVD’s, slept lots. Met up with Dave J on the nighttime. We went to Zach’s for drinks. What was more interesting was that we met up with Dave’s ex-girlfriend, Emma. She was a friend back in my college days and it’s been about two years since I last saw her. We reminisced all night and after dropping Emma off at home, Dave and I returned to my house to smoke some doobie.

The doobie seemed to set certain minds racing, as it was decided at 12:00 AM that we build something out of Simon’s videos (all 300+ of them). We built a huge eye in the middle of our living room and then left it for Simon to receive as a present for his birthday yesterday. What more can you ask for if you’ve got an art attack in your own living room

nearly there...

i hate the festive period on one factor alone. it makes you think.

its not that i always end up in some sort of introspective rut its just that i got someone to miss right now. dont want to like, but my sentimental synapses are firing left, right and centre. i'll say it here and here alone. Im missing having you around mate. i hope you have a good christmas

This particular christmas run up has been over shadowed by other peoples preparation. customer service advisors seem to live many different scenarios on the run up to christmas, except their own. i've not had any time to think of others (well, the others i want to think of that is). im doing most of my shopping last minute, i gotta experience the christmas rush to its cliched fullest. i'll be just like me mam.

next entry will be one of the many millions of entries describing how xmas day felt around the world.

bye

Bored of the rings

I pulled my first sicky under gadget shops eyes this week. largely to do with the fact that i've only had one day off a week for the last five weeks. two days really makes a difference. I know i said i liked the listening and all but the only opportunity i get to REALLY listen is when a big complaint is being made. i get that a lot of these people might be relly top in real life but when on the other end of the phone to me, they come across as wicked bad vibe merchants.

anyway, the sicky was pulled on monday. that very day paul and simon decided to pull an all day stint watching all three of the extended versions of the Lord of the Rings trilogy. a hefty amount of cinema magic to take in with just one film, let alone three. As much it was nice for Simon and Paul, i personally would never take up that much time in the living room for one event and i considered it a bit rude that the whim of one person can take precedent in a house of four very different people.

This same day Paul met my dad for the first time. He seemed quite glad that at least one member of my family had any appreciation for sport. its probably the longest conversation my dad has got out of any of my friends about anything ever also.

You have 30 seconds to comply.....

goddam. loads has happened.

First of all, go me for having a real job now. gadget shop customer services were due close on christmas eve. not now, whic means i got me some work.

Anyhoo. Emma's birthday happenned last weekend. as per the rules, a party happenned. It were another one of those fancy dress affairs we all seem to love. Efforts by Paul (cowboy) Simon(American Civil war soldier) Andy (pirate) and wally (spiv from dads army) are to be awarded. I went as santa clause; largely out of poverty. It was a suit a bought for a party 2 years ago.

The party happened, it were all good as family shindiggs go. Then the Spiders happenned.

I was very popular that night what with my santa outfit and all. in total i was asked for a PS2, a BMX, a malibu Barbie and an egg sandwhich. that was fun.
The 2nd time i saw emma all night was when she informed me she had lost her parents. That seemed to go over my head a bit.
most amazingly, i actually had a good time at spiders that night. Mainly because of all the old faces that were present that night. Even my Bezzie mate mark managed to show his face.

The best part of the night came much later.

After arriving home from spiders with paul and Zoe (paul was loads trying to get to do her), teakaway was ordered. A lengthy wait for a knock at the door passed, and a noise was heard at the door. Paul hurried off to answer in anticipation of his meal but was met with something rather unexpected at our door....

...Armed Police!


Yep. turns out Simon, of all people, was caught on CCTV, wearing his fancy dress costume, with fake rifle in hand. Obviously this sighting had feathers ruffled back at the police cave. Enough to send Tree armed policemen to our door anyway. The situ was cleared up evevntually, after we had to wake simon. All this time i were hurriedly trying to find somewhere to stash my weed. Stoners and armed police make strange bedfellows.

i baked me some space biscuits this week and my they have gone down a treat. the giggly of weed at the price of resin. top banana!

it bin five weeks now. She certainly is commited. Her loss. silly Bint

ooooh! the bastard....

as you may have read, im on the tail end now of a horrible situation with a "friend". its been alright this last week and a half. its not been on my mind. until last night.

after making a sarcastic comment about claire (its expected of me at times), paul piped up, and i quote

"you and her will never be friends again. you may as well not bother"


it brought to mind various chains of thought. firstly, although i have been in a right funk about the whole thing its not nice to hear that i've outright lost a friend forever. in my frustration i still felt we would be hanging out again one day.

Second. the fact that paul said this is either (a) ignorant of the fact that she may have feelings on the whole matter that she could really only express to me alone or (b) she has expressed to him more than he's letting on and it kinda leaked out in his tactless statement.

It's my belief that there are ideas in pauls mind that having me out of Claires life means he can take pride and place as claires closest male friend, settling himself in closer than is safe for the relationship. i've been there. she does somehow inspire that in men.

i was happy after talking this out with Shazia at work. She herself raised the idea of me being usurped. its more believable knowing that an objective and very neutral standpoint like hers could asess it like that.

beyond all that, there are people leaving gadget shop next week to pastures new. shazia is one of them. i'll miss her, she's dead canny like.

got to see my old friend Jamie last night. its nice he still takes time to gather his old college friends. A lot of people who've met him through me have given him a bad rap and its Sooooooo undeserved.

Seeing dave tonight. he's come back up from nottingham for his dads birthday and has taken time out to come see his bezzie mate. dave also rocks.

Claire Davidson can kiss my arse....

this was the e-mail she sent:

"will you just leave it eddie when i said i wanted some space what exactly did you take that to mean i will come to you when i'm ready your constant messages emails phone calls are only adding to all this i am sick of the pressures you put on people who are supposed to be your friends and i need some time away from that so just give it a rest you're only making this worse."


2 phone calls, 1 email and 3 messages is not, in my opinion, constant as she so puts it, especially over a week and a half period. She never actually uttered the words to me "i need some space", that was something those around her suggested i do. She states that i place unecessary pressures on friends/people. She has'nt made it clear that she is feeling pressured but makes out that i make it difficult for more than just her. Yeah i piss off my mates sometimes, but i dont think its her place to assume i inspire this sense of pressure in all my friends. in another way it sounds like she's in some way fighting their corner. Is she trying to rub my nose in something?

"im only making this worse" thats a doozy. making what worse exactly. she hasnt told me what the problem is and refuses to talk to me. this means i have to establish all on my own what room to manouver i have (hence phone calls and messages).

her silence is the worst part.

i think its a horrible show of disrespect. She is showing no respect for me as a person or our friendship. She is being very childish in ignoring the issue completely.
i have friends telling me that i say these things cos because im feeling such and such an emotion. i'll be honest. i miss her not being around and it does sting at times but if im feeling it theres no way im not gonna express it. thats just stoopid

Radio on the TV

I watched a a very warming film last night. The film Is called 'Radio' and it stars Cuba gooding jr and Ed Harris. Its a simple story. A mentally handicapped man in a small American town being accepted by the staff and students of his local high school and then the town as a whole.

Its based on a true story. i took this and went to find what i could find on the internet. James robert kennedy (nicknamed radio) and coach harold jones have their own website. i intend to e-mail radio because his story really touched me and Coach jones, as radio's surrogate "father" for 30 years, comes across as one of the good men in the world we all feel we could be at times.

Go watch the film

back to basics

Angry: at uppity customers, my pension money still not coming through.

upset: at friends who find it easier to believe that im rotten to the core, that my friend cancelled another friday night on me

happy: that its friday, my mini airzooka arrived.

anxious: that Claire may never speak to me again

Watch run ronnie run. its well mega!

How may i help you....

I REALLY like my job.

After spending a year training to be a counsellor, it has been disheartening for me to not be accepted to finish the training off. Im very thankful that the job i am in now lets me use my skills and talents. At the end of my spiel when answering the phones, i always end with "how may i help". i like helping and saying that gives me a fuzzy glow inside that i've never had in previous jobs and never expected to gain from this one.

i had a customer today who had a complaint. after listening to her and getting her through the worst of what she had described, i offered what help i could (numbers addresses blah blah blah) and at the end of the conversation the customer said "thank you for taking the time to listen to me". That made me feel tons better than i have in the past week.

On other matters. She doesnt deserve a friend like me. you know who i mean

One moment please....

Started my new job on thursday. not much was done that day. I had to read various policies and training packs. Friday was when the actual real work started. I just deal with the orders for now. its obscene exactly how many credit card numbers come my way. if i were'nt such a consciencious fellow i could scam loads o people.

the last phone call of the day was an order that ultimately had to be screenec for fraud, i felt a bit bad about informing the nice lady on the phone that this was to happen.

Unfortunately i have my friend ignoring me and not knowing is becoming all the more frustrating. i dont too much like it when this situations arise. maybe its time to cut my losses.

Go Go gadget job

Wahey! everything's coming up eddie.

I got me a message yesterday telling me if i ring the gadget shop they would have a job for me. which they did. only temporary for xmas but what the hell, i can be applying to other employers while im there and i get to spend money on people for christmas. Its customer service work which means i may well have to deal with idiots on a regular basis but i can get by in the satisfaction that im better than some of these idiots.

Mr Me shines umpteen things clean

In taking time to get my mind off certain situations, i went out and tended to the kitchen in probably the most loving way i ever have. i even managed to scrub the perma-rust off one of the woks, which i can never be arsed to do. so come peeps, try and really fuck me off, i got a bedroom and living room to tidy

The theme from national lampoons vacation kicked just before i finished the sentence before this and a bubble of calm energy has enveloped my. its nice when songs do that. its like they know

Fume seeth and other such reactions

not loads inclined to be a two-a-day-er but i gotta rant people.

I am lots angry at the fact that one of best friends thought best to ignore me last night rather than explaining to me what what problem she had with me. im not in any understanding what her problem is so i cant say that she's wrong or anything, but she has in no uncertain terms explained that she needs to decide whether she WANTS to explain the problem.

This fucks me off because

a) i have always made a point of expressing my dislike of her actions. i know she often doesnt wnat to hear them but she still has the ooportunity to understand and asses my opinion.

b) CHOOSING ignorance over discussing rationally WITH A BEST FRIEND shows and underlying lack of respect which i believed we did share. seems im wrong.

Happy Halloween folks

All Hallow's eve

For convenience of all invited, a friend threw her halloween party last night.

The effort made with the costumes this year was really quite amazing. We had me throwing my weight about as john shaft (all blacked up and everything i were). Batman came along to add to the crime fighting ensemble, dragging santa with him to spread the joy. Four men in togas turned up, jason Voorhies and his victim, three women dressed as cats, an octopus (in my reckoning anyway). and spongebob squarepants. It were a marvellous party.

The day on the whole was dampened somewhat by the attitude of two lady friends. One a really close friend who decided to ignore me all night, an unprecedented act. the other, a lovely women who cant seem to discriminate between honest, outright appreciation and male lusting.

Highs and Lows

Its been quite an adventure in music today. Dan and i have reached, in our 1 year working together, a whole ten songs. this is divided into 3 particular sets and each one of them is as solid as they could ever be.

on a sad note Radio DJ John Peel Passed away yesterday. thats really quite sad considering his place in music history.

mo fo

I thought i'd do the honourable thing and treat my guitar to a clean up, theres years worth of dead skin stuck to the neck and it just didnt look shiny anymore. taking off the age old strings seemed the right thing to do if i was to give the neck its full attention. lo and behold getting the strings back on again resulted in the complete breakdown of three of my strings. now i have to go and buy some and it aint something i can afford. Bi-atch

two months later

I lied about that whole family tree thing. im nowhere near talking to any ancient relatives. I keep getting the same old tales from me da cos its not like you can look your parents in the eye and tell them you've heard it all before and its not getting any more interesting. I suppose i have my self to blame as well. im just a teensy weensy bit scared of meeting relatives on my dad's side of the family.

I did, as promosed to the world and myself, get round to writing and recording songs. I've managed to do that twice in the past week on my own. The others we're written and recorded with the help of my good friend and writing partner Dan. Altogether we have 5 songs recorded (we have way more) and are close to having our own EP (we're called stuffed monkey look out for us).

The last couple of months have also been a bit tarnished with behaviour from me that i can honestly say has been quite intolerable. I have managed to upset a very close friend. In summary, i lost my temper and invaded her personal space in a very aggressive manner. Things have changed slightly between us. I've not seen as much of her since the incident. We still chat, it's not like we alienate eachother but i have lost a certain something in her that i will have to work hard to attain again.

the other crap behaviour was aimed again at another female friend. Her story may come, it may not. i aint promising anything. either way, it were me being rubish again.